Donald Trump Demands Obama 'Look At His Tape.' What Tape? You Know, THAT Tape!
Still think election stolen from you?
"Ask Obama," Trump says in Florida. "Tell him to look at his tape when he was running 8 years ago." pic.twitter.com/9WqMlAUFfT
— Jennifer Jacobs (@JenniferJJacobs) October 25, 2016
So here is a mystery! Bloomberg Politics reporter Jennifer Jacobs asks Donald Trump in Florida if he still thinks the election will be stolen from him, and Trump enigmatically replies, while shaking a perfectly normal-sized finger at the impudent reporter, "Ask Obama! Tell him to look at his tape when he was running 8 years ago."
What tape? Everything was on DVD by then! Maybe "The Wire"? That's always worth a look, but Barry says it's one of his favorite shows, so he probably has it on Blu-Ray. Old vids of Sasha and Malia? They sure were cute back then.
Or maybe it's a tape we've never seen before, like maybe one where he pledges on the grave of Saul Alinsky to institute socialism, trash the Constitution, demand reparations for slavery, and get him a shotgun and kill every whitey he sees. Sure, that last one was Garrett Morris and it was from 1976, but sometimes Mr. Trump doesn't remember things good.
Depending on your paranoia level, Obama's answer is either reassuring or a total confirmation of election-rigging: "Well, I tell you what it helps in Ohio, that we got Democrats in charge of the machines." So either good reliable Democrats will protect the Ohio vote from any meddling like was suspected in 2004, or he's openly bragging they'll rig the vote themselves. (Yr Wonkette would like to think that if a candidate really were as crooked as that, he wouldn't be dumb enough to say it on a live mic with cameras running, but maybe that's simply proof of how brazen his crookedness is!!!!!!) Then Obama admits a historical fact, which of course you can also twist into proof that he's advocating it:
I’m from Chicago and I want to be honest, it’s not as if it’s just Republicans who have monkeyed around with elections in the past. Sometimes, Democrats have, too.
A sane person sees this as a reference to the corrupt machine politics of the olden tymes; a paranoid sees Obama saying "Yeah, we've got Illinois sewed up, too," perhaps while demonic horns visibly sprout from his head. Either way, he urged people to participate and demand openness, which means he's a big hypocrite since isn't that all Donald Trump is talking about when he urges his supporters to go watch the polls in certain places, you know that he means?
It's at this point that wingnuts either stop listening to what Barry Bamz said in 2008, or insist that he was obviously lying:
Whenever people are in power, they have this tendency to try to, you know, tilt things in their direction. That’s why we’ve got to have, I believe, a voting rights division in the Justice Department that is nonpartisan, and that is serious about investigating cases of vote fraud, Is serious about making sure that people aren’t being discouraged to vote. That’s why the voting rights legislation that was passed a couple of years ago to help county clerks make sure that the machines were in place that were needed, are important. That’s why we need paper trails on these new electronic machines so that you actually have something that you can hang on to after you’ve punched that letter -- make sure it hasn’t been hacked into. Those are all part of the process of making sure that our democracy works for everybody.
Oh, sure, it sounds like he's saying strong watchdog agencies are needed to ensure the integrity of the vote, and to prevent voter intimidation. But he said right there that there WAS vote fraud, so now he's a liar if he claims elections can't be rigged, and besides, the Justice Department is totally corrupt and full of Muslim Brotherhood agents and then it's time to start typing in all caps. TRUMP IS RIGHT AND OBAMA KNOWS IT!!!!!!
So yeah, that tape. The one where Obama reassured a voter not to worry about the integrity of the vote, or bragged it would be rigged. Both realities are equally likely, don't you think? Now we just have to open up the ballot box and see if the cat is a Republican or a Democrat.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.