Donald Trump Don't Want A Pickle, Just Wants To Ride His Motor-Sickle

America's Greatest Living Artist, Jon McNaughton, has committed another crime against canvas, this time slopping together a painting called "MAGA Ride," featuring a fictionally slim Donald Trump on a big motorcycle, complete with flag-themed fender skirts, being applauded by all Americans while the home of the Enemy -- the US Capitol -- looms ominously in the background. At least we think it's supposed to be looming ominously, since that's what McNaughton says in the bullet points for this great artwork:

  • Cracks in the road spell M A G A.
  • Federal Capitol Building represents Trump's opposition among the Democrats and weak Republicans.
  • The crowd of American supporters, from all backgrounds proudly wearing their red Make America Great Again hats.
  • American Flag is a source of light.
  • Artist paints himself in the painting.

OH, isn't that clever? The cracks in the pavement spell MAGA!!! Here, we have highlighted the cracks:

Sorry, that clearly says "MATTMIA," in memory of Matt, who is Missing in Action. But even if it does say "MAGA," that would appear to conflict with another part of McNaughton's own explication of the painting:

I wanted to paint a picture of President Trump and Melania on a jacked-up motorcycle, painted up with the American flag and patriotism, as they ride down a bumpy, crumbling road that represents the hazards and the problems that this presidency has faced since Trump has been elected.

Yes, "painted up with the American flag and patriotism," because "patriotism" is definitely a pattern. Or a color (guess which color!).

But wait! The crumbling road represents all the trouble Trump has faced, but that crumbling infrastructure also spells out "MAGA"? At least McNaughton got something right -- Trump's "infrastructure" bill was a colossal failure. No wonder the roads suck. But they nonetheless proclaim America is great again.

Jon McNaughton has truly imbibed the Flavor-Aid, hasn't he? Even Donald Trump's failures are triumphs!

Maybe there's also a subtle joke in here about how Donald Trump's tariffs have fucked over Harley-Davidson, which is purely Harley-Davidson's fault?

Hell, we do not even KNOW what to make of the fact that the American flag (and patriotism) in this painting casts no shadow. Is it a ghost flag that can only become substantial when Donald Trump rescues it from athletic black men? Is it, like Jesus, a purely spiritual manifestation, unaffected by mere physics? Is McNaughton just a big incompetent hack who simply forgot to include its shadow? The art world may never know. (Dude, he said right in the bullet points the flag is a "source of light," so... wait, shouldn't the bike's shadow be off to the right, then?)

The folks in the background are a cheerfully diverse crowd of typical Trump supporters, exactly unlike an actual Trump rally. McNaughton says he's included himself in the picture, but unlike his earlier triumph, "Jesus Hands George Washington The Constitution What Jesus Wrote," this one doesn't include an answer key. We figure maybe it's one of these guys?

Hard to say! Neither really looks all that much like the brief shot of McNaughton in his lazy sales video, which is just him reading the text from his website.

MAGA Ride - Jon

We sure hope McNaughton doesn't insist on tossing himself into all his future works, though. That can only end in tears or self-parody, and Jon McNaughton is already so deep into self-parody that he risks vanishing up his own asshole.

That's about all we have to say about the newest masterpiece by America's Greatest Artist, except to add that in March, we somehow missed his charming portrayal of George Soros, a Jew who likes fondling money in front of an American flag that he has personally shredded with his dirty Jew claws. (We are joking here. Soros hires illegal immigrant caravans to shred the flag for him!)

Why, yes, this is a great conservative artist's portrayal of a Jewish financier flaunting his democracy-ruining wealth in the form of hundred-dollar bills, less than a month after Ilhan Omar was being roundly condemned for her "all about the Benjamins" comment. What of it?

Still, we're pretty impressed by McNaughton's insistence that he just might be the only person in the world willing to say unkind things about George Soros. Holocaust historian Waitman W. Beorn offers a sobering discussion of how McNaughton's Soros painting fits perfectly with anti-Semitic propaganda. Much of McNaughton's shit is laughable. This one, though, is fucking evil.

Strangely, this great work of art appears not to be available on McNaughton's website. Maybe McNaughton is waiting for just the right moment to put that one on sale to the general public. Like maybe after the next time a synagogue gets shot up.

Is it art? No. Is it your open thread? IT IS.

[McNaughton Fine Art]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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