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HANDS OFF, ORANGE HITLER.


Time for Hillary Clinton to go back to Benghazi, because she's not the only person with a new book out today! Turns out MSNBC's Katy Tur ended up accidentally picking today to release HER book, Unbelievable: My Front-Row Seat to the Craziest Campaign in American History, which chronicles what it was like to follow Donald Trump around on his puss-grabbing racism tour during the 2016 campaign. (You should buy it when you buy your copy of Hillary Clinton's book, or just whenever you want, as long as it's RIGHT NOW.)

Let us say on the front end that we love Katy Tur, which means we are #BIAS. She is so smart and good and funny and delightful, and if yr gay-ass Wonkette may be allowed a brief moment of heterosexuality, she is SO PRETTY YOU GUYS OMG.

Anyway.

Trump harassed the shit out of Tur constantly during the campaign. He absolutely loved it when she covered his rallies, so he could rile up his cousin-fucking hordes in rage over how the fake news is lying to America. About a week before the election, Trump screamed the following at her, because THERE'S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY, YOU'RE NOT REPORTING IT, KATY!

KATY, YOU’RE NOT REPORTING IT, KATY. BUT THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY. THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, KATY.

And he pointed at her like this, so the human tubes of expired Easy Cheese at his rally knew EXACTLY which offending journalist, who just happened to be a young woman, was NOT REPORTING IT, KATY!

Trump does this because he is a sexist piece of shit who gets the world's tiniest erections (which also happen to be his biggest) over exerting creepy filthy chauvinist power over women.

Trump also tweeted during the campaign at various times about Tur, saying she was a "3rd rate reporter" who "lied" and "should be fired." You know, usual third-grade level Trump stuff.

But hey, don't take all that to suggest Trump doesn't think Katy Tur is FUCKIN' HOT, or that he doesn't want to grab her by the pussy and take her furniture shopping. Taegan Goddard posted a quote from Tur's book Tuesday morning, about this one time Trump tried to grope her on the set of "Morning Joe":

“Before I know what’s happening, his hands are on my shoulders and his lips are on my cheek. My eyes widen. My body freezes. My heart stops. Fuck. I hope the cameras didn’t see that. My bosses are never going to take me seriously.”

Fucking hell, he is beyond deplorable. GET YOUR HANDS AND YOUR ORANGE FACE AND YOUR APPLEHEADED VAGINA MOUTH OFF OF KATY TUR, PRESIDENT RAPE VAN, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

Get the context here! He was verbally abusing Katy Tur from the stage constantly and on Twitter, and yet the physically repulsive pile of hardened cat vomit currently manspreading all over the Oval Office thought it would be cool to get all up on her, like maybe if he stuck his gelatinous tongue in her mouth, she would start reporting that SOMETHING IS HAPPENING, KATY.

Also, how fucked up is it that Tur's first thought was that her bosses wouldn't take HER seriously if they saw Trump advancing on her? And they say sexism is dead. (Just kidding, they don't say that. But don't mention it, especially if you're Hillary Clinton!)

MSNBC released a longer excerpt from Tur's book, and oh boy, if you didn't click the link to pre-order above, you will after you read this account from election night, when Tur realized that, just as she suspected, Trump would win the election:

My brutal, crazy, exasperating year with Trump is going to end -- by not ending at all. Trump will be president. The most powerful person in the world. And I will be locked in a press pen for the rest of my life. Does anyone really believe he’ll respect term limits? I have a vision of myself at sixty, Trump at a hundred, in some midwestern convention hall. The children of his 2016 supporters are spitting on me, and he is calling my name: “She’s back there, Little Katy! She’s back there.” [...]

I’ve heard him insult a war hero, brag about grabbing women by the pussy, denigrate the judicial system, demonize immigrants, fight with the pope, doubt the democratic process, advocate torture and war crimes, tout the size of his junk in a presidential debate, trash the media, and endanger my life.

I’ve learned that none of this matters to an Electoral College majority of American voters. They’ve decided that this menacing, indecent, post-truth landscape is where they want to live for the next four years.

Tur got literal death threats while she was covering Trump's campaign, because that's the kind of thing Trump's example emboldens his stable of pigs to do to people. Indeed, according to her excerpt, a staffer told her during the campaign that, second to Trump, Secret Service paid the most attention to her during events, in order to protect her from them.

We are glad, for Katy Tur's health and sanity, and for the quality of MSNBC's daytime news operation, that instead of forcing her to stay in Donald Trump's loathsome presence all the time, the network just gave her her own show. It's much better that way.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[Taegan Goddard's Political Wire / MSNBC]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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