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All the other church sign generators are borked. Thanks a lot, internet.

Donald Trump has chosen his longtime "spiritual adviser" Paula White for a very important job in the White House, doing something Jesus-related that will help make America Great. We have to admit, the job sounds a bit loosely defined, as the New York Times describes it. She'll be working in the Office of Public Liaison, and

Her role will be to advise the administration's Faith and Opportunity Initiative, which Mr. Trump established last year by executive order and which aims to give religious groups more of a voice in government programs devoted to issues like defending religious liberty and fighting poverty.

That sounds like really important work, whatever it is! We have to say "faith and opportunity" is exactly the sort of thing Trump would say religion is all about. Put your faith in Trump and take whatever you can grab.

It also sounds like White will have her work cut out for her, telling Evangelicals to keep supporting Trump without question because he's doing such a great job loading the federal courts with judges who'll ban abortion and also ban abortion, in addition to overturning Roe v. Wade and banning abortion. As long as they do that, no fundies actually care what Trump gets up to. Given that fact, we aren't even sure why she needs a paid position. Haha, we joke: She needs the job to reward her for saying nice things about Donald Trump. And her job will be keeping Evangelicals voting for Trump, as if they were about to go out and support some heathen Democrat.


White is a proponent of the "prosperity gospel," an especially grifty variant of Pentecostal belief that claims God rewards true believers with wealth and health. It's an especially popular idea with some rightwing Republicans, since it merges so well with the conviction that the economy just naturally rewards smart people who work hard, and if anyone isn't rich, they clearly brought it upon themselves.

Many conservative evangelicals, however, consider the "prosperity gospel" heretical, a mishmash of Christianity and "positive thinking" woowoo that has leaked in from secular pop culture. These folks -- who may well oppose social programs, don't get them wrong -- object that Christians should look for their reward in the next life, not this one.

In other words they're just jealous of people like Donald Trump and Paula White, who have clearly won God's favor.

It's kind of fun to watch a never-Trump Trump supporter like Erick Erickson fulminate against Trump's elevation of a "heretic," at least. He couldn't even bring himself to type her name, lest Hellfire consume his keyboard:

The multiply divorced President has placed a multiply divorced heretic in charge of faith based outreach. The heretic, who practices the prosperity gospel heresy that God will reward us financially if we prop up earthy goldleaf gaudiness in the form of various heretics' mansions, planes, and megachurches, has also once affirmed Jesus is not the only begotten son of God.

Also, too, Erickson got all Bible-y in condemning evangelical leaders who support Trump:

Like Amaziah the priest of Bethel they protect their influence and power, going so far now as to endorse false doctrines peddled by heretics while leading Christ's flock into the world. They twist the faith of our fathers and Lord and make it about the here and now instead of eternity. They set up Washington as their Jerusalem and Trump as their savior.

He's been mad about White ever since Trump invited her to pray (TO MOLOCH) at his inauguration, especially since she appeared to question the absolute divinity of Christ. We figure he'll eventually advocate reelecting Trump, but he won't be happy about it at all.

So now Trump has given an official salary to the lady who explained Jesus Christ may have been a refugee, but he was never an illegal, and would surely have smiled on taking children away from their parents.

I think so many people have taken Biblical scriptures out of context on this, saying stuff like "well Jesus was a refugee." Yes, he did live in Egypt for three and a half years, but it was not illegal. If he had broke the law he would have been sinful, and he would not have been their messiah!

Guess her prayer at a Trump rally in July, asking for God's help in breaking the power of "demonic networks" arrayed against Donald Trump, must have worked!

"Right now, let every demonic network who has aligned itself against the purpose, against the calling of President Trump, let it be broken, let it be torn down in the name of Jesus!" she prayed. She added: "I declare that President Trump will overcome every strategy from hell and every strategy from the enemy — every strategy — and he will fulfill his calling and his destiny."

Donald Trump is still in office and some county commissioners in Florida have made sure county money will never pay for the New York Times in the library, so it's pretty clear the demonic networks have been broken, we guess.

[New York Times / WaPo / WaPo]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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