Donald Trump Has Only The Best, Yoogest Vote Fraud (Just Kidding It Is Weak And Sad)
Donald Trump has figured out a way to keep Crooked Hillary from rigging the election: Encourage Colorado voters to do a little voting fraud of their own, because you can't trust the system. This only makes sense, coming from a man who's gotten rich through a series of bankruptcies. At a rally in Greeley, Trump told his fans that they shouldn't trust the rigged system, so they should vote a couple times to be sure. In Colorado, all registered voters are sent a ballot that can be mailed in, but they also have the option to vote in person. Tell us more, HuffPo's Christina Wilkie:
“Who here has sent in their ballot?” Trump asked a crowd of more than 2,000 supporters at a rally in Greeley. The crowd replied with a roaring affirmative cheer.
Trump then asked, “When you send your ballot in, do you think it’s properly counted?” The crowd was quiet for a second before people realized that the correct answer was “No!”
“You can check on your ballot to make sure it’s counted properly,” Trump said. “You can go to [Greeley voting location] University Center and they’ll give you a ballot, a new ballot. They’ll void your old ballot and give you a new ballot. And you can go out and make sure it gets in,” Trump said.
Then, just to emphasize what a completely honest guy he is, Trump added, "In some places, they probably do that four or five times, but we don’t do that." So nobody had better go thinking he was encouraging anything illegal.
Except for how what Trump suggested is probably not what you'd call legal: Denver TV station KDVR explains the Secretary of State's office says once a mail-in ballot has been received by the clerk, that vote is official and can't be changed. If you have marked a ballot but not mailed it, you could destroy your ballot, go to a polling station, and request a new one, but there's nothing in the guidance about voting a second time in person and asking to have your mail ballot voided, so Trump's suggestion could actually result in an inaccurate vote. As for whether you believe your vote will be counted if you mailed it, the answer isn't "NO!" The answer is to go to the Colorado Secretary of State's website to check the status of your ballot -- that is, if you believe the people who run the voting. Which, if you're a Trump voter, you probably won't, so you may be stupid enough to think voting twice is a great idea.
Even before his speech Sunday, at least one worried Trump supporter in Iowa had already decided she'd better vote twice, just to make sure her vote counted. Terri Lynn Rote, of Des Moines, was arrested last Thursday on a charge of "first-degree election misconduct," a Class D felony, after casting early ballots at the Polk County Election office, and then shortly afterward at a satellite polling location. Two other voters were accused of voting by mail and then going to vote in person as well, though they hadn't yet been arrested. Who knows, maybe that's where Trump got the idea.
In an phone interview with the Washington Post Saturday, Ms. Rote offered the compelling explanation that it was "a spur-of-the-moment thing," just an idea that occurred to her when she walked by the satellite voting location. If it helps any, she added, "I don't know what came over me." So it wasn't something particularly original, but just done by Rote.
In a Friday interview with Iowa Public Radio, she seemed a lot more sure about why she had to vote twice, explaining she was afraid her first ballot for Donald Trump would be switched to a vote for Hillary Clinton. "The polls are rigged," she said, not robotically at all. It had apparently not occurred to her that if the polls truly are rigged, her second vote could also be switched to a vote for Clinton. In fact, why vote at all?
Yr Wonkette is certain that once Trump voters see that Ms. Rote was caught as soon as she tried to vote a second time, they will now have all kinds of confidence in the electoral system. Heck, Iowa doesn't even require photo ID to vote, and yet they still prevented Rote from voting twice. Yep, that clear evidence of a fair system operating smoothly should definitely put all this nonsense about rampant voter fraud to rest, you bet.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.