Donald Trump Is Suing All The Mexicans
Friday night, we all watched in gratitude and awe as the Mexicans -- whether Salvadoran Mexicans, Nicaraguan Mexican, or Las Vegasian Mexicans -- rode to America's rescue, standing in line for hours to cast their votos contra Donaldo Trump.
But someone else was watching too, and it was Donald Trump.
Dear sane people: RELAX. And VOTE. Are you relaxing, and also voting? Do that right now!
Here is what Trump actually said for real:
“It’s being reported that certain key Democratic polling locations in Clark County were kept open for hours and hours beyond closing time to bus and bring democratic voters in. Folks, it’s a rigged system. It’s a rigged system and we’re going to beat it. We’re going to beat it.”
And here is what Nevada Republican Party chair Michael McDonald said:
"Last night, in Clark County, they kept a poll open 'til 10 o'clock at night so a certain group could vote," McDonald said in introductory remarks at the rally. "The polls are supposed to close at 7. This was kept open until 10. Yeah, you feel free right now? You think this is a free and easy election? That's why it's important."
Actually, we do feel free! Thanks Mexispanic amigas y amigos!
Of course, everyone immediately laughed at this pathetic spin, since the law says that anybody in line to vote when the polls close must be permitted to vote. Here! Have AN ACTUAL LAW!
NRS 293.305 Closing of polls; admission of voters and other persons.
1. If at the hour of closing the polls there are any registered voters waiting to vote, the doors of the polling place must be closed after all such voters have been admitted to the polling place. Voting must continue until those voters have voted.
So what is Donald Trump doing today? He is suing all the Mexicans, for voting! And he is trying to have all early voting ballots in Nevada IMPOUNDED!
Gee, sounds like someone is trying to #rig an election!!!1!
Donald Trump's campaign filed a lawsuit against the Clark County Registrar in Nevada for allegedly keeping polls open past the time they were supposed to close during early voting.
CNN reporter Jim Sciutto reported Tuesday the Trump camp was protesting the decision to keep voting locations open in order to let anyone vote at the time the polls closed as long as they were in line at the time. The Trump campaign wants to keep early voting ballots separate from other ballots in case they need to be challenged, CNN said.
Here is Nevada press corps dean Jon Ralston, ON THE CASE:
I'm told Clark County registrar and lawyer are headed over to District Court to address the GOP's "Hispanics voted too much" lawsuit.— Jon Ralston (@RalstonReports) November 8, 2016
And here is what the Trump camp is asking for: nothing much, just all the ballots touched by a Mexican -- whether a Panamanian Mexican like John McCain, or a Florida Mexican like Jeb Bush -- to be flushed down a high-flow toilet, forever!
Oh, what's that last one? It is the most important one, and it is "we do not want to pay for our own legal fees, because HAVE YOU MET US???"
To be fair, though, the Mexicans -- whether they're Costa Rican Mexicans or Dominican Mexicans or Nigerian Mexicans or Hawaiian Mexicans, like Barack Obama -- probably should not be able to vote, because of how they are all #bias, just because Donald Trump forgot to not call them all rapists, the end.
Livestream of hearing on the lawsuit: http://www.lasvegasnow.com/breaking-live-news
Text of full Trump lawsuit: https://www.scribd.com/document/330439388/Trump-Nevada-Lawsuit
We are going to do nothing else today but watch BIAS FEMINAZI JUDGE yell at the lawyers for Dornald Turmp.
DO YOU EVEN WATCH TWITTER, BRO?
In fact, judge, we do. Please leave some skin on the man for later, as not everyone has had their turn at flaying yet.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.