Donald Trump Just Wondering If Hillary Is A Muslim Or What. You Know, Like Her Girlfriend Maybe.
— E.W. Jackson (@ewjacksonsr) June 21, 2016
Donald Trump is having Thoughts again, which can never be a good thing. In a meeting with "top social conservative evangelical Christian leaders" Tuesday, Trump wondered out loud about Hillary Clinton's relationship with the Almighty, Whom Donald Trump happens to know is totally on his side, because why else would God have created an entire world for Donald Trump to live in? He's simply a concerned person of faith who thinks the Bible is one terrific book, according to what he's heard. But this Hillary Clinton, her religious faith is a total mystery to Donald Trump, and he warned the gathered evangelicals, "we don't know anything about Hillary in terms of religion."
How true this is! Now, we could look at her Wikipedia entry (or every single story published about Trump's comments) and see she's a Methodist, or says she is. But that tells us nothing about what's really in her heart, as Trump explained:
“Now, she's been in the public eye for years and years, and yet there's no -- there's nothing out there,” Trump said. “There's like nothing out there. It's going to be an extension of Obama but it's going to be worse, because with Obama you had your guard up. With Hillary you don't, and it's going to be worse.”
It's so true. And her birth certificate. What about that? Do we actually know anything about this stranger who simply appeared out of nowhere and started pretending she was fit to Walk With The Lord like Donald Trump does? Does she ever eat the little cracker and drink the little wine? She probably engages in some highly suspect religious rituals, like asking God for forgiveness, which is not something Trump has ever found necessary, as he also explained last summer:
“I think if I do something wrong, I think, I just try and make it right. I don’t bring God into that picture. I don’t.”
He's a busy Deity. Why bother Him?
Trump's meeting with the hugest classiest evangelicals -- he's very big with evangelicals, or at least with evangelical leaders, who almost certainly recognize a fellow con man when they see one -- was supposed to be closed to the press, but one of the "faith leaders" at the get-together, E.W. Jackson -- misidentified by the Hill as "E.W. Webb" (no, wrong washed-up Virginia politician!) -- posted a brief video clip to Twitter. Lord only knows what other wonderful things Trump said that we'll never find out about.
Trump went on to explain that while, yes, it's nice to pray for everyone, God really isn't into your stupid politically correct prayers, and no one should waste their time on prayers for leaders who are bad, like anyone who isn't putting America First. You trying to piss off God? Here's the whole sad church buffet of word salad, which future generations may someday study as the weirdest statement on faith and politics of Tuesday June 21, 2016:
“People were saying, some of the people were saying, 'Let's pray for our leaders,'” Trump said.
“I said, 'Well, you can pray for your leaders' -- and I agree with that, pray for everyone -- but what you really have to do is pray to get everybody out to vote for one specific person.
“And we can't be, again, politically correct and say we pray for all of our leaders, because all of your leaders are selling Christianity down the tubes, selling the evangelicals down the tubes,” Trump said. “And it's a very, very, very, very bad thing that's happening.”
Stop praying for those people. They're very, very, very, very bad people. And if Jesus had come to Earth to help the very bad people, Donald Trump is sure someone would have mentioned it somewhere.tried them against Ben Carson (who imploded quite nicely without any help, thanks), but Carson had to go and refuse to debate faith with Trump. We have a feeling that Hillary Clinton may not respond directly, but we know for a fact she has plenty of supporters who know a thing or two about the "whatsoever you do for the least of these" parts of the Bible, and they're unlikely to stay quiet. Just ask those Two Corinthians over there.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.