He's got the Mussolini strong-chin thing down.

Donald Trump read a big long State of the Union address Tuesday night that will inevitably be forgotten the minute he says something outrageous again. It was a speech that sought to call for unity by bringing Americans together in mortal fear of terrifying murderous illegal immigrants bent on killing us all. Oh, and he'd really like to have a war with North Korea, too. Oh, yes, and he saved the economy from the Obama disaster by coasting on the same economic growth trends Obama started. Good for him!

When Trump noted that African-American unemployment was at a record low -- again, thanks to trends that began under Obama -- Republicans gave a standing ovation and Democrats sat and rolled their eyes because probably they're racists and prefer black people to be on welfare. Republican bastards also gave a standing ovation to repealing the Obamacare individual mandate, which will lead to higher insurance costs and people losing their healthcare.

Yr Wonkette was too busy yelling at the TV between sips of delicious scotch to really notice much else. Noted political pundit Our Girlfriend documented some of the drinking:

Yes, my blinds are dying. No, I don't care.

As for the parts that will matter, please ignore Trump's promise to make prescription drugs cheaper, because he certainly intends to continuing ignoring that all over again. Also, "beautiful clean coal" is not a thing.

Trump's "infrastructure" plan is, similarly, a scam that he said would result in $1.5 trillion in new investment, but that really includes only $200 billion in federal spending. The rest will come from magical unicorn farts and public dollars making private contractors rich. Oh, yes, and the proposal will include huge cuts in federal spending for public transit, which is for bad people who are too lazy to buy cars. It'll also hollow out a bunch of environmental laws, because they're bad for business. Trump's plan will be great for toll bridges, hooray! The water system in Flint, Michigan? Not so much.

The centerpiece of the speech was a bunch of lies about immigration, focused on Trump's plan to provide a path to citizenship for Dreamers, but only if legal immigration is radically cut. In making the case for ending the diversity visa lottery and strictly limiting family reunification, Trump lied about both programs and suggested they let terrorists come to America. SCARY! Of course, if two people became radicalized out of the tens of thousands of people who immigrated in the past decade, it's perfectly logical to make sure that we now exclude all immigrants, because Trump is stupid.

Illinois Rep. Luis Gutierrez had a fine statement on Trump's offer of protection for Dreamers in exchange for closing the door to untold numbers of legal immigrants:

Trump also suggested that everyone who crosses the border without papers is a bloodthirsty killer, and as a prop, he introduced the parents of two teenage girls who were murdered by MS-13. It got the nativists excited and "proved" that every single person here without legal status is a threat! California Senator Kamala Harris wasn't having any of that bullshit:

MS-13 is an example of some of the worst of criminal gang behavior. To equate that with Dreamers and DACA was completely irresponsible. And it was scapegoating and fear-mongering. And it was wrong. It was wrong technically, in terms of the nature and character of these populations [...]

And it was wrong because that's not what leaders are supposed to do. We're not supposed to convince the American public of policy because we make them afraid. And that is what this president apparently thinks he needs to do, and it is irresponsible.

Trump even turned the very idea of "Dreamers" on its head: Why would he want to think the dreams of people who were brought here illegally as children matter any more than other dreams, like those of a real estate developer who doesn't want to rent to black people? And so Trump capped off the speech's section on immigration with this line: "Americans are dreamers, too." That went over really well with white supremacists, who immediately took to the Tweeters:

CNN noted that "conservative thought leader" -- which we can only assume they were using ironically -- Newt Gingrich thought Trump had pulled off a masterful rebranding, by stripping "Dreamers" of any connection to those people Republicans would rather deport. Sadly, this strategy probably will work, with idiots:

We're inclined to agree with WNYC's Todd Zwillich on this one:

But hey, this is Donald Trump. Maybe when he says "All Americans are dreamers too," he means that ANYONE can now look forward to the possibility of ICE agents dragging them away from their families, tossing them on a bus or plane, and sending them off to a country they have no memory of, where they don't speak the language.

Oh, Trump also called for an end to the rule of law during his SOTU address. Did we mention that? We feel like we should mention that.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money, or MS-13 will win.

[WaPo / Daily Beast / CNN / WaPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

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In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

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