In Trump's version, nobody gets paid.


Donald Trump is doing that thing where he hallucinates that he's something he isn't again. At a rally in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, Monday, he explained he's totally a blue collar kind of guy:

"I love blue collar workers," Trump said at a campaign event in Ambridge, Pa. "And I consider myself in a certain way to be a blue collar worker."

"I treat them with dignity … there are great people," the GOP nominee added, forgetting to mention the billions he made -- and lost -- throughout his career as a real estate magnate.

The New York Daily News takes pains to point out that this is not an entirely accurate summary of Trump's résumé:

Trump has never worked in any capacity that could, under any conventional definition, be interpreted as “blue-collar” labor.

On the contrary, the mogul began his own business endeavors with the help of a loan of at least $1 million from his wealthy father.

In addition, Trump reportedly blew through his allowance at least once and had to get his rich daddy to bail him out in the 1970s with $8.5 million in loans.

Well, yeah, but "in a certain way" can also apply to Trump, too, since he allegedly learned to drive a bulldozer at age thirteen while visiting his dad's construction sites. Or maybe it was when he was five. Or both!

Trump also has a SAG card, and an inexplicable $110,228 Screen Actors Guild pension. So you know, definitely blue collar. If he didn't have that SAG card, he never could have been on the soap opera where his guest spot occasioned his pussburglar comments.

It's every bit as reasonable as that time he said his time at New York Military Academy gave him “more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military.” Or his insistence that he knows more about ISIS than the generals. Or his entirely imaginary belief that he respects women. Or his truly inventive fantasy that he's prepared to be president of the United States.

Let's also not forget how he hired those Polish illegal immigrants for five bucks an hour, a salary Trump himself would not settle for.

At least we got a few good Tweets out of this latest Trump fantasy:

We're still skeptical. Does Trump even know the lyrics to this song?

We've always wondered what "keeping my eye to the keyhole" had to do with being a blue collar man. Maybe Donald Trump could explain that one.

[NYDN / Daily Beast / HuffPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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