Donald Trump Tells CPAC Unnamed Sources Are FAKE NEWS, Except For When He Uses Them


Donald Trump's address at CPAC was much like all his addresses. He spent 179 minutes (give or take) boasting incorrectly about how tremendous his victory was and how big his movement is, saying the lying media won't even report on the millions of people trying to get in to hear him make his speech, which was held in a hotel ballroom. (The line was six blocks long! You betcha! MSNBC noted immediately after the speech there was barely even a line at the metal detectors at the entrance.) He tells these lies because he's a pitiful, sad, weak man who knows deep down that he lost by three million votes, that literally everyone thinks he's fucking incompetent, and did we mention a great majority of the nation hates him? His approval ratings are actually UNDER 40%, which is unheard of for a new president. That's how much of a loser Trump is.

Trump then spent 486 minutes (just a guesstimate) bitching about the media and how it is fake, and about how the longstanding journalistic necessity of using unnamed sources is incorrect and immoral, according to his own "expertise" on the subject:

I'm against the people that make up stories and make up sources. They shouldn't be allowed to use sources unless they use somebody's name. Let their name be put out there. Let their name be put out.

Wait, are the sources "made-up," or are they unnamed? God, he is so fucking incompetent.

"A source says that Donald Trump is a horrible, horrible yoo-man being." Let 'em say it to my face!

All sources say that. Saying it to yr face right now, Pussgrab McWeakSad!

Let there be no more sources.

None at all?

Anyway, that's enough transcript of idiot boy, so just trust us that he bitched a whole lot more than that.

So! No unnamed sources. It's funny, because Trump gets his lumpy knickers all A-TWIST about unnamed sources when they say things that are mean, or things he doesn't want the American public to know. For instance, he's all wee-weed up about the "unnamed sources" that told the failing New York Times and fake news CNN that his presidential campaign was in "constant contact" with the Russians last year. Trump's people even went to the FBI to cry and beg them to be "unnamed sources" and tell the media that all the Russia stories are lies!

Wait what? DOUBLE STANDERT ALERT! It's OK to do "unnamed sources" when it benefits Trump? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Twitter had a good LOL when Trump said that at CPAC. First of all people noted that this is the pool report from the White House on how it begged the FBI to tamp down the Russia story:

Besides how the pool report from the White House doesn't actually make Trump and Reince Priebus look any better on the FBI begging story (and that it's probably full of lies), do you notice the "senior administration officials" did a "background briefing" and weren't willing to let their names be used? AKA they are "unnamed sources"? LOL.

Then Twitter reminded us of how Trump used to plant favorable stories about himself by masquerading as his own publicist, named "John Barron" or "John Miller." It was really Trump, but he was using a "fake source" (himself) to make himself look good. LOL!

Moments after Trump did his vagina-mouthed shouty-shouty at CPAC about "unnamed sources," he told a story about a friend of his who used to love Paris, but no longer, because it's "not Paris" anymore. (DOGWHISTLE: Muslins! Terror! Terror Muslins! Muslin Terrors!) He didn't name his friend, except to say he's a "very, very substantial guy." He finally said later it was "Jim," but didn't provide the last name.


He's probably lying about it being "Jim" anyway. It was probably "John Barron."

Anyway, apropos of nothing, here is another video from the speech, of "President" Stupidass trying to say the word "sequester," because, like other hard words like "industry" and "China," Trump doesn't know how to say it, so he just sounds it out like the illiterate toddler he is:


Yay, little Trump! Good try, but not good enough! You're fired!

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[The Hill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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