Donald Trump Thought Some Ladies On 'The Apprentice' Were Almost As F*ckable As Ivanka

Look, another weird picture of Trump and his daughter.

We know you don't like to start your Monday with news that's so shocking it gives you palpitations, but tough shit: It seems that Donald Trump may have been a bit of a disgusting, sexist man-hog to lady contestants on "The Apprentice." Right? We didn't believe our lying eyes either when we saw this news story from the Associated Press:  

In his years as a reality TV boss on "The Apprentice," Donald Trump repeatedly demeaned women with sexist language, according to show insiders who said he rated female contestants by the size of their breasts and talked about which ones he'd like to have sex with.

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/here-are-some-more-ladies-donald-trump-thinks-are-totally-butt-ugly"></a>[/wonkbar]Would Donald Trump ever do such a thing? Oh wait, we just remembered that story we wrote last week about Trump being a lady-objectifying dildo-noggin to employees at his golf club in Rancho Palos Verdes, California, and then we remembered that Donald Trump has been like this his entire sad life. Forget we were ever skeptical.

And it wasn't just contestants, because please remember, Vagina-Americans also have jobs backstage. In fact, there was this one camera lady he thought was REAL hot. And the choir asked, "HOW HOT WAS SHE?" She was THIS hot:

Eight former crew members recalled that he repeatedly made lewd comments about a camerawoman he said had a nice rear, comparing her beauty to that of his daughter, Ivanka.

There it is. It always goes back to Trump's barely concealed desire to romance his daughter Ivanka with his tiny appendages. Later in the AP story, we learn that Trump's hard-on for this camerawoman was constantly gushing in everyone's face, according to another camera worker named Rebecca Arndt:

"He would just mention it all the time. I remember him comparing Ivanka to her and saying that only Ivanka was prettier," she said.

Congrats, camera-woman person, you are ALMOST as hot as Donald Trump's incest fantasies!

Usually, when Trump jizz-splains how hot his daughter Ivanka is, it's a bit more subtle, like when he brags about how his spray-tanned sperm fishies "helped make" Ivanka, and when he says things like, "If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father" -- you know, totally normal #DadComments. Or when Daddy's hands just go a-wanderin' on live television in front of millions of Americans:

Want to hear some more gross stuff? OK!

During one season, Trump called for female contestants to wear shorter dresses that also showed more cleavage, according to contestant Gene Folkes. Several cast members said Trump had one female contestant twirl before him so he could ogle her figure.

Randal Pinkett, who won the program in December 2005 and who has recently criticized Trump during his run for president, said he remembered the real estate mogul talking about which female contestants he wanted to sleep with, even though Trump had married former model Melania Knauss earlier that year: "He was like 'Isn't she hot, check her out,' kind of gawking, something to the effect of 'I'd like to hit that.'"

He seems nice.

The Trump campaign denied the charges, saying that those big fat Miss Piggy ladies are just being lying slobs like they always are, HAHA just kidding, they did not say that, but they probably thought it. This is the actual statement from Hope Hicks, the young female Trump campaign spokesperson who's probably never been sexually harassed by her boss, because he'd never do a thing like that:

"These outlandish, unsubstantiated, and totally false claims fabricated by publicity hungry, opportunistic, disgruntled former employees, have no merit whatsoever," said Hope Hicks, Trump's campaign spokeswoman. "The Apprentice was one of the most successful prime-time television shows of all time and employed hundreds of people over many years, many of whom support Mr. Trump's candidacy."

Know what else was very successful? Fox News. Employs lots of people! And yet still, its chief Roger Ailes sex-slimed all over lots of lady employees, and then he had to step down to spend more time with his partner in sex-sliming, Donald Trump.

But wait! There are a couple of women on the record as saying Trump was NOT gross to them, if you can believe it. Like this one:

"He was extremely supportive. You could tell there was so much respect there on all sides, especially with the female athletes," said contestant and U.S. softball star Jennie Finch, a two-time Olympian. "Obviously, he was complimentary, but never in an inappropriate way."

Awwww. And this one:

Contestant Poppy Carlig, who performed the twirl, said she considered Trump's request "playful banter." She added: "I don't immediately jump to the conclusion that people are having bad intentions with what they are saying. He said I reminded him of his daughter and I thought that was really touching because I know how much he values his family."

JUST KIDDING THAT WAS ANOTHER GROSS ONE! Maybe Poppy Carlig doesn't realize that when Trump says "you remind me of my daughter," he's saying it with a tent in his pants (ALLEGEDLY BUT PROBABLY, BASED ON ALL THE EVIDENCE).

Please read the entire AP story, if you'd like to lose your breakfast. Barring that, you could just read about that sexxxy time Donald Trump did porn, and also lose your breakfast. Your choice.

[ AP ]