Natural disasters, such as COVID-19 and wildfires, have devastated the nation this year, and our man-made disaster of a president is only capable of making things worse.

Donald Trump flew to California Monday to “assess" the damage from wildfires that have killed at least 24 people and burned more than 3.2 million acres, an area the size of Connecticut. In Oregon, more than one million acres are up in smoke,10 people are dead and dozens are missing, and more than 40,000 people are displaced.

The past week has been catastrophic, and the problem is climate change. Anyone with a brain knows the problem is climate change, but a majority of white voters in 2016 decided to go with the brainless presidential candidate, so here we are. Yesterday, President Lab Coat declared to people smarter than he is, including the chair holding up his ass, that this problem that has only gotten worse over the years will suddenly disappear ... as if by magic.


TRUMP: It'll start getting cooler.

That was Trump's response to Wade Crawfoot, California's secretary for Natural Resources, who'd just informed the fool of the record high temperatures the state has endured over the past few months. When Crawfoot said it had reached 130 degrees in Death Valley, Trump smirked and muttered, “That's hot!" like he was judging one of his Miss Teen USA pageants.

Crawfoot pleaded with the president to work with them in recognizing the changing climate.

CRAWFOOT: If we ignore that science and just put our head in the sand and just think it's about vegetation management, we're not going to succeed together in protecting Californians.

But Trump insisted that it's going to get cooler.

TRUMP: You just ... you just watch.

Yes, just watch the West Coast go up in flames.

CRAWFOOT: I wish science agreed with you.

TRUMP: Oh well, I don't think science knows actually.

Science actually knows quite a bit. Science isn't Trump's son-in-law.

Trump is a climate-change denialist. This is one of many “quirks" voters knew about him in 2016, including his contempt for Black people, brown immigrants, and the rule of law. He's not the only idiot in the GOP. Bobby Jindal, when he was governor of Louisiana, presumptuously asked President Barack Obama not to mention “climate change" when visiting New Orleans on the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. He considered climate change a “Trojan horse," an excuse for government regulation. Louisiana is now facing a record-setting hurricane season.

As Al Gore noted in a 2005 speech slamming George W. Bush for his inaction on climate change: "The Bible says, 'Where there is no vision, the people perish.' The Bush administration has no vision. So the people perish."

Joe Biden slammed Trump as a “climate arsonist" yesterday and correctly pointed out that climate change's handiwork — wildfires and hurricanes — pose a greater threat to the suburbs than imaginary Antifa mobs. If you try to wave your penis substitute at an advancing wildfire, you're just gonna get scorched.

From the New York Times:

"If we have four more years of Trump's climate denial, how many suburbs will be burned in wildfires?" Mr. Biden asked. "How many suburban neighborhoods will have been flooded out? How many suburbs will have been blown away in superstorms? If you give a climate arsonist four more years in the White House, why would anyone be surprised if we have more of America ablaze?"

While we wait around for the climate to just miraculously cool on its own, presumably after reading all the children's letters to Santa Claus, Trump advises that we watch out for exploding trees.

From the Telegraph:

TRUMP: When trees fall down, after a short period of time about 18 months, they become very dry.

Why do they become so dry, Mr. Wizard?

TRUMP: They become really like a matchstick and there's no more water flowing through and they just explode. They can explode.

TRUMP: You go to other countries and they don't have this problem, but they have more explosive trees, meaning they catch fire much easier. So we have to talk about that.

Do we have to talk about this? I'm in Portland, and it hurts whenever I open my mouth right now.

The US president is an idiot. American leadership lacks vision, and that means more people will perish.

But in 49 days, we can start to end this nightmare.

[The New York Times]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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