Donald Trump Will Love Vladimir Putin Forever And Ever, And You Can't Stop Him!
Donald Trump has been under fire this week for saying during MSNBC's "Commander-In-Chief Forum" that Vladimir Putin is bigger, stronger bear than weak, sad Barack Obama. In her Thursday morning press conference, Hillary Clinton called Trump's lovey-dovey sex words about Putin "unpatriotic and insulting," and also "scary." We would add that it's stupid and self-serving and completely geo-politically ignorant, also too!
But because Trump, in his own mind, is never incorrect, he is doubling down on his declarations of love for Putin. Thursday, Trump's running mate Mike Pence went on CNN to agree with his daddy, saying it's "inarguable" that Putin is way hotter than stinky old Obama. The same day, Trump went on state-owned Russian television to shit on America, we guess because he was hoping Putin would see him on TV and finally ask him out on a Netflix And Chill date or something. It all went down on the Larry King program, which, YES, airs on the RT (formerly "Russia Today") network:
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump criticized U.S. foreign policy and the American political press corps Thursday during an interview on RT America, a state-owned Russian television network.
In a wide-ranging interview that aired Thursday evening, Trump spoke with journalist Larry King about the presidential race, American intervention in Iraq and the Middle East, and the potential intrusion by Russian hackers into Democratic Party databases. RT, which airs in several countries in English and Russian, is funded by the Russian government; though it characterizes itself as independent, the network has been regularly accused of pro-Kremlin bias. [...]
Asked during the RT America interview what has surprised him most about the political process, Trump unloaded on the American press.
“Well, I think the dishonesty of the media. The media has been unbelievably dishonest,” Trump responded. “I mean they’ll take a statement that you make which is perfect and they’ll cut it up and chop it up and shorten it or lengthen it or do something with it.”
“And all of a sudden it doesn’t look as good as it did when you actually said it. But there’s tremendous dishonesty with the media. Not all of it, obviously, but tremendous dishonesty,” he said.
He said these things on a Kremlin-owned network.
As to whether Russia hacked into the DNC, or is otherwise interfering with our AMERICAN ELECTION, Trump was like "oh, shruggie emoticon, we shouldn't irresponsibly blame Russia or anything," even though Paul Ryan and the rest of Trump's own Republican party are pretty sure Russia's the one sticking its dick in our affairs right now:
“I don’t have any opinion on it. I don’t know anything about it. I don’t know who hacked. I’m not sure. You tell me. Who hacked? Who did the hacking?” Trump said.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/604781/why-does-no-one-like-donald-trumps-great-idea-for-russia-to-do-espionage-to-hillary-clinton"></a>[/wonkbar]Again, everybody's pretty sure it's Trump's butt-pals, the Russians. Of course, we shan't forget that time Trump actually begged the Russians to hack into Hillary's emails, but we guess that's neither here nor there.
Now, yes, we understand that Trump was being interviewed by sweet old Larry King, but since sweet old Larry King currently works for the Russians, Trump really probably shouldn't be on his program, bitching about America.
But no worries, because the campaign of Donald Trump, who is brilliant and tough and makes the best deals and knows more about ISIS than the generals, says sweet old Larry King TRICKED HIM into going on Russian TV, which means it was not Trump's fault:
Dude, that is so pathetic, even by Trump standards of pathetic, which are YOOGE.
The New York Times has rounded up a whole bunch of quotes from politicians on both sides of the aisle, collectively saying HOLY FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH DONALD TRUMP, regarding his affinity for Putin and the Russians. Paul Ryan calls Putin "an aggressor who doesn't share our interests"; Little Marco Rubio calls Putin a "thug" and a "dangerous and bad guy"; and also this from Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions, one of Trump's biggest fanboys:
Even Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, perhaps Mr. Trump's closest ally on Capitol Hill, appeared ill at ease when pressed about Mr. Trump's statements.
Asked whether political combat should stop at the water's edge, Mr. Sessions paused for nearly 10 seconds before saying, "I've tried to adhere to that line pretty assiduously, but less and less does that get adhered to in the modern world."
It's getting adhered to less and less, you dumb fuck, because, while everyone else is correctly calling Putin a murderous piece of shit, Donald Trump is John Cusack standing outside Putin's bedroom window blasting "In Your Eyes" on his goddamned jambox.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/597149/donald-trump-big-fan-of-vladimir-putins-murderous-man-balls"></a>[/wonkbar]And Trump's been doing this at least since the olden days of the Republican Primary, when he told Morning Joe And Mika, who actually reminded him, oh by the way, Putin kills journalists and political rivals, that "He’s running his country, and at least he’s a leader. You know, unlike what we have in this country." And then when Joe said AGAIN the thing about, you know, Putin kills people, Trump replied, "Well, I think our country does plenty of killing also, Joe. So, you know."
Yeah, you know, BFD, whatever. Putin says nice things about Trump, and that's all that matters. And he obviously says those nice things because he truly believes Trump is a great man, and definitely not because he's really excited about America electing a thin-skinned man baby ready and willing to be Putin's Little Fuck Toy, as long as he keeps saying nice things about the appleheaded vagina mouth with the orange face.
Nope, it's definitely not that.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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