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Good Morning! While you were living your Be Best life this weekend, the president proposed an end to the rule of law, NBD.

That's right, Donald Trump will restore Law and Order by getting rid of Judges and Court Cases. Because what even is CONSTITUTION?


As Steve Vladeck pointed out on Twitter, the Supreme Court ruled in 1896 that non-citizens have due process rights and can't just be thrown into jail. From Wong Wing v. US,

Applying this reasoning to the fifth and sixth amendments, it must be concluded that all persons within the territory of the United States are entitled to the protection guarantied by those amendments, and that even aliens shall not be held to answer for a capital or other infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law.

But Donald Trump says other countries are "laughing at us," so FUCK that rule of law noise!

And oh, look! As we type, he's at it again.


Okay, sure refugees are legal migrants, and international law requires the US to hear asylum claims as a signatory of the 1967 UN Refugee Protocol. But everyone knows international treaties are for losers. If the United Nations wants us to do what we promised, they need to pay up, bitches!

And SURPRISE, Donald Trump, who uses the highest office in the land to flog his trash hotels, assumes that staffing up the immigration courts would just result in more corruption. Last week he arglebargled some nonsense about the absolute impossibility of fixing the immigration backlog, via NYT,

Rejecting a proposal by Senator Ted Cruz of Texas to increase personnel in immigration courts with the hiring of 375 new judges, Mr. Trump suggested that many of the immigration judges could be corrupt, and he said that some lawyers who appear in their courtrooms are "bad people."

"They said, 'Sir, we'd like to hire about five or six thousand more judges,'" Mr. Trump said in a long and rambling speech to the National Federation of Independent Business. "Five or six thousand? Now, can you imagine the graft that must take place? You're all small-business owners, so I know you can't imagine a thing like that would happen."

Who could possibly imagine the orderly administration of justice without graft? Not a career grifter, that's for sure!

Okay, we are done with this nonsense. Even that fascist Justice Gorsuch would tell Trump to get fucked on this one. I mean, we hope. THE END.

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[Wong Wing v. US / NYT]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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