Donald Trump Will Solve Immigration Crisis By Getting Rid Of Pesky Constitution
Good Morning! While you were living your Be Best life this weekend, the president proposed an end to the rule of law, NBD.
That's right, Donald Trump will restore Law and Order by getting rid of Judges and Court Cases. Because what even is CONSTITUTION?
Applying this reasoning to the fifth and sixth amendments, it must be concluded that all persons within the territory of the United States are entitled to the protection guarantied by those amendments, and that even aliens shall not be held to answer for a capital or other infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law.
But Donald Trump says other countries are "laughing at us," so FUCK that rule of law noise!
And oh, look! As we type, he's at it again.
Okay, sure refugees are legal migrants, and international law requires the US to hear asylum claims as a signatory of the 1967 UN Refugee Protocol. But everyone knows international treaties are for losers. If the United Nations wants us to do what we promised, they need to pay up, bitches!
And SURPRISE, Donald Trump, who uses the highest office in the land to flog his trash hotels, assumes that staffing up the immigration courts would just result in more corruption. Last week he arglebargled some nonsense about the absolute impossibility of fixing the immigration backlog, via NYT,
Rejecting a proposal by Senator Ted Cruz of Texas to increase personnel in immigration courts with the hiring of 375 new judges, Mr. Trump suggested that many of the immigration judges could be corrupt, and he said that some lawyers who appear in their courtrooms are "bad people."
"They said, 'Sir, we'd like to hire about five or six thousand more judges,'" Mr. Trump said in a long and rambling speech to the National Federation of Independent Business. "Five or six thousand? Now, can you imagine the graft that must take place? You're all small-business owners, so I know you can't imagine a thing like that would happen."
Who could possibly imagine the orderly administration of justice without graft? Not a career grifter, that's for sure!
Okay, we are done with this nonsense. Even that fascist Justice Gorsuch would tell Trump to get fucked on this one. I mean, we hope. THE END.
Follow your FDF on Twitter!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.