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If only Democrats loved America. Sad!


Donald Trump's presidential campaign is really the most fascinating Frankenstein's monster, sewing together bits and bobs of various long-dead political movements like the "America First" movement of the 1930s or Nixon's "Silent Majority" and "Law and Order" mantras. The Igors have been working overtime in 2016, and the latest clump of rotting right-wing viscera to be drained of formaldehyde and reanimated is that classic from the Bush/Dukakis race of 1988: Dems don't love the flag enough! At a Wednesday press conference at his golf club in Doral, Florida, Trump trotted out a few E Plebnista lies about Dems and The Holy Banner, which is sacred to Yangs and despised by Komms:

They don't even mention our police, they mention everybody but our police. They don't even have an American flag on the dais until we started complaining, and then they ran up with two very small little flags, one that we saw...

Needless to say, the second night of the DNC included speeches by law enforcement officers, and no, the flags at the DNC didn't only start showing up on Day Two, after Trumpkins "shamed" the Dems into it. As Oliver Willis points out, the flag was prominent Monday as well, within the first 20 minutes of the opening gavel:

This has apparently been quite the big deal with certain outlets on the right! The Daily Caller flatly claimed "No Visible American Flags Present At The Democrat Convention," offering as proof this pair of images of the two conventions:

Of course, as Snopes points out, no, that's not entirely a stage full of flags behind Trump -- it was a digital image of a bunch of flags. And yes, the Dems have had no shortage of flags, both virtual and physical:

They're such tiny flags, though. Clearly an afterthought

Never mind reality, of course -- this bullshit has already entered the Republican id and is for them simply more evidence that Democrats do not love America. We always like to dispel that myth by quoting Al Franken, who dismantled it quite well in 2003 in his epic Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them. It's just that conservatives and liberals understand patriotism a little differently:

They don't get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America the way a four-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a four-year-old, everything mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes mommy is bad. Grown-up love means understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world. That’s why we liberals want America to do the right thing. We know America is the hope of the world, and we love it and want it to do well.

And that's what patriotism is all about, Charlie Trump. Also, we dare Donald Trump to draw a freehand map of the USA from memory like Al Franken can. Never gonna happen.

Also, as one brilliant Twitter smartass spotted by .Mic pointed out, at least Hillary's supporters know which country they're actually patriotic toward:

We rather like being grown-ups. But let's wave those flags anyway, if only to remind Republicans how wrong they are about how much liberals love our country. And to remind them we own that flag too, even if we don't mistake it for an object of unquestioning worship. What's next, loyalty oaths? Ah well. We suppose we could talk about policy, too.

[CNN on Twitter / Snopes / Daily Caller / .Mic]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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