Or maybe he'd just drop a big letter on 'em.

Poor Donald Trump just never gets the chance to beat up on people like he really wishes, but boy, oh boy, would he ever love the chance to really work them over. Metaphorically, at least, although with Trump, it's always a little unclear where the combative fantasies leave off and the desire to get physical begins. Not that Trump would ever get his own knuckles dirty. He has security people for that.

So anyhoo, at a rally in Iowa Thursday, Trump explained that when he watched Wednesday's Democratic National Convention, he really wanted to whale on some of the speakers, possibly with a 2x4 or at least some really strong language:

You know what, I wanted to. I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard. I would have hit them. No, no. I was gonna hit them, I was all set and then I got a call from a highly respected governor. "How's it going, Donald?" I said "It's goin' good, but they're saying bad things about me! I'm gonna hit them so hard!" I was going to hit one guy in particular, a very little guy. I was going to hit this guy so hard his head would spin. He wouldn’t know what the hell happened.

Trump didn't say who exactly he meant, but it appeared to be (with plausible deniability, because no names!) former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who said Wednesday night, "Trump says he wants to run the nation like he’s run his business ... God help us!” Trump, who collects grudges like a nerd collects Funko My Little Pony figurines, was astonished at such a betrayal by a real billionaire:

“He came out of nowhere!” Trump said Thursday night. “They made deals with me, [told me] ‘Would you help me with this? Would you make this deal and solve this problem?’ I solved the problem,” the former reality TV star said, practically spitting out the words [...]

Trump also noted how “certain people” had failed to endorse him because he had hit them “so hard” in the past: “That’s why I still don’t have certain people endorsing me, they still haven’t recovered.”

Now, obviously, Trump isn't actually planning to smack anyone, not just yet, so let's not suggest he's a violent unhinged lunatic. On the other hand, it's not a bad idea to keep in mind Hillary Clinton's warning from her acceptance speech:

He loses his cool at the slightest provocation. When he's gotten a tough question from a reporter. When he's challenged in a debate. When he sees a protester at a rally.

Imagine, if you dare, imagine -- imagine him in the Oval Office facing a real crisis. A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons.

Yep, that's the guy who wants to hit his "enemies" so hard their heads will spin. Seems like exactly the person you want to have the ability to deploy the 82nd Airborne.

As Ezra Klein noted at Vox a couple days ago -- after Trump's little joke encouraging Russia to hack the Clinton campaign, even before this latest outburst -- Trump is not doing the Presidential thing so good:

This isn’t normal behavior from a major American politician. It’s not even particularly normal behavior from Donald Trump. After he picked Mike Pence, empowered campaign chair Paul Manafort, and gave a structured convention speech, there looked to be a chance that Trump was unveiling a new, more sober persona for the general election. But he can’t do it. He can’t suppress his own mania for even a week.

Look, the one thing people like most about Donald Trump is that the man speaks his mind. Even if it's entirely full of rabid voles.

[ABC News / HuffPo / Vox / Vox a via RawStory]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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