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Donald Trump so Mexican, y'all:


We are officially dead now. This is the man who says Mexico is sending us all its dirty rapists, and that we need an elegant, gold-plated border wall to keep them out, and that we should have invaded Mexico after 9/11, and ALL THE OTHER SHIT HE HAS SAID ...

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/590841/donald-trump-wishes-wed-invaded-mexico-for-doing-911-maybe"></a>[/wonkbar]But he loves the authentic Tex-Mex taco bowls they make at Taqueria la Trump, they are tremendous and terrific and if you put a little authentic Messican Tabasco sauce in them, they're even hotter than his daughter Ivanka. ¡Si Señor! Donald Trump just LOVES to take his tenedor and his cuchillo and cram the taco bowl contents into his appleheaded vagina la boca.

And he especially loves saying he loves the Hispanics while he eats his taco bowl on the traditional Hispanic holiday of Cinco de Mayo, when the noble saldados of the nation of Hispanica fought for their independence, a story all patriotic Americans know by heart, especially the ones who have offices in Trump Tower.

(By the way and #HistoryFact, it's not Mexican "independence day" either, you dumb margarita-swilling Americanos.)

We would yell more, but we will just leave you with this commenter on Trump's Facebook, who would like to say some things:

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Wonkette children. Now go out and eat yourself a Trump taco bowl, son YOOOOOOOGELY excelentes!

[Dipshit McGee's Facebook]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

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She should have been more embarrassed.

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