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Douche-squeaks


One thing we are sure of is that, when they were little boys, Donald Trump Jr. and his creep-faced brother Eric probably had to endure constant bullying from the kids in the schoolyard over what a pussy their dad is. And don't you know it, mean people all over this great hemisphere are doing the same thing right now! It really hurts Donald Jr., right in the place behind his own creepy face where his feelings live. Everybody is saying "Hahahaha, your dad talks all big and tough about what he is going to do to Mexico, but then he went to Mexico and he got scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaared!" And they are slapping their knees and pointing at Donald Jr., and giving him swirlies in the bathroom after gym class.

Well, he is fed up and he's not taking it anymore!

Donald Trump's oldest son fired back at Tim Kaine and Hillary Clinton's campaign on Thursday, rebutting their accusation that his father "choked" by not discussing the construction of the border wall in depth with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto. [...]

“I think it's ridiculous. That has no credence. Anyone who knows anything about a deal or negotiation you build a relationship first. You don’t go with the hardest line aspect of a thing on day one. We’ve been very clear. We’ve never backed away from that. There are methodologies by which we can do it," Donald Trump Jr. said during an interview on Fox News' "America's Newsroom."

Suggesting that if Clinton or Kaine might think differently if they had "ever done a deal, or maybe a good deal, in their lives" or "anything in business," Trump Jr. laced into the Democratic ticket for never experiencing "the real world" rather than "just being politicians talking in theory without any actual practice maybe he’d know that, but because they don’t, because they’ve never built anything, because they’ve never actually created a job, they sit there in sound bites." [...]

"Trust me. He knows how to set up a negotiation.”

NANNY NANNY BOO BOO, YOUR DAD IS A PUSSY AND HE SHOULD COME TO CAREER DAY SO WE CAN LEARN WHAT A "TOTAL LOSER WITH BABY HANDS" DOES FOR A LIVING.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/606144/coward-donald-trump-goes-to-mexico-too-big-a-pussy-to-demand-payment-for-his-wall"></a>[/wonkbar]Look, you little priss, that whole "methodology" only works if the person you're negotiating with doesn't know what you're going to say in the first place. So spare us the bullshit on "it's a process, you wouldn't understand," because every Mexican and every American who has ever lived knows that your sad daddy's only campaign slogan besides Make America A Dumb Racist Again is "We're gonna build a wall, a yooge wall, a delicious wall made of jewels, coated with the soft baby hair that lines my billionaire butt crack, and MEXICO IS GOING TO PAY FOR IT."

Also? Your stupid father is not "set[ting] up a negotiation," because he's not the fucking president, and he never will be.

Anyway, all of this is stupid and we are tired of expending energy on it, so let's change the subject: Which Trump boy is creepier? Donald Jr. and Eric both have daddy issues, which has led to their ugly facial expressions and the hairstyles they always ask for when they go to the groomer. They both murder innocent exotic animals, so they're tied there. But Eric Trump is so pathetic he got terrorist attacked by powdered lemonade. But we don't know if that makes him creepier, or just way dumber.

Gah, we cannot decide so here is a poll, for you to decide which Trump boy is the biggest creeper, WITH VOTES. Choose wisely!

 

[Politico]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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