Donald Trump's Mouthbreathing Supporters Will Burn This Mofo DOWN!


[contextly_sidebar id="6jtfPqa6xesJrr6AyEekzCCDBvjt4A14"]When Donald Trump sends his rage-fueled idiot-ass supporters to the Republican National Convention, he's not sending the best America has to offer. He's sending bitter, dumbass white people who are convinced they're only dead-end losers because The Blacks and The Mexicans took something from them. He knows they're "poorly educated," and he likes them that way. And he also knows that if he wins the most delegates and the GOP tries to pull some kinda "brokered convention" rigamarole, his followers are going to go APESHIT:

We're way ahead of everybody. I don't think you can say that we don't get it automatically. I think you'd have riots.

Trump supporters aren't concerned with the #math or the #rules that say Trump has to reach 1,237 delegates before the convention to automatically get the nomination. They just want their dipshit lord and savior Donald Trump to be crowned king, and they will fuck a motherfucker up if it doesn't happen.

[contextly_sidebar id="3mdkS5C9rPODeL5N52BuFHng95azFEK1"]Trump endorser Dr. Ben Carson woke up from a nap to chime in too, saying, "There's no question that there would be a lot of turmoil." And as Carson explained this week, Trump's supporters aren't to blame for whatever violence and havoc they wreak. Mean protesters are hurting their tender feelings, after all. Why, Ben Carson's probably surprised they haven't stabbed anybody yet.

[contextly_sidebar id="Pn8iCVwI1BrfTy4rhrSkd5xhxUTLgIzh"]Moreover, the Trumpenjugend wants its country back. Their lives are devoid of meaning, and they're more than likely hungry. They have guns, rage, Hitler-esque salutes and probably Cracker Barrel coupons burning holes in their Make America Great Again fanny packs. You simply couldn't get mad at them if the convention in Cleveland this summer were to turn into some kind of meth-fueled bloodbath.

For the record, Ted Cruz also has A Opinion on brokered conventions:

That would be a disaster. I think the people would quite rightly revolt.

So, cool story, bros. Over here on the blue team, we guess we'll just pop some popcorn and drink our arugula abortion lattes and gigglepiss ourselves in glee while all y'all on the red team murder each other, for Freedom.

But wait, hold on, maybe that won't happen. A spokes-troll for the RNC -- which is totally Trump's greatest ally, you bet -- clarified on CNN that he's pretty sure Trump "is speaking figuratively." See? Trump didn't mean his followers would literally raise their hooves in anger if some kinda brokered convention malarkey were to happen! It would just be metaphorical violence, you see.

[contextly_sidebar id="6rqOkc5YK40rq3czRaTkaPTZ68XMk5Oc"]Like the metaphorical violence that happens to protesters,journalists and regular folks at Trump rallies. That's it.

And don't you act like these figurative metaphor happy nice time riots would be some sort of "bad" thing, because haha, Trump's supporters are Skoal-snorting WHITE PEOPLE, not like those hands-up-don't-shooty blackity-blackitarians in Ferguson, so it's all OK.

So the GOP is on notice. If you do not give these cattle-fellating jackwhistles what they want THEY WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN. Figuratively, of course.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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