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Don't Be The Last One On The Internet To Miss Out On Conscripting Yourself To RedState's Battalion Of Discontents!

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  • Meet Barry's new socialist realism fashion patch thing! There's a branch (symbolizing ACORNS), and stars (for Lenin) and the colors red, white, and blue (for reasons unknown). [Top of the Ticket]
  • Most infamous non-wolf Palin nemesis, Kim Elton, a member of Alaska's House of Lords, has jumped right into Obama's tank, specifically into the Department of the Interior as the "Director of Alaska Affairs." [CNN Political Ticker]
  • RedState.com has begun stockpiling idiots and probably uranium in a quest to strengthen its virtual army of guerrilla insurgents, who will fight Obama's stated mission of taking away America's freedom and distributing it, in rations, to the communist internment kibbutzes on which we will all be forced to live in ~6 months. [RedState]
  • Bill Clinton is so happy and relieved now that people are finally paying attention to his paintings, which he has never previously mentioned or displayed. [Daily Intel]
  • A DC bus driver attacked McGruff, the animated crime dog whose career was in large part the inspiration for season one of the Wire. The bus driver thought thought McGruff, who was clearly just fighting crime, was trying to be funny. [DCist]
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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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