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Our Commie friends say ENOUGH of the late-stage consumer capitalism that is pretty much wrecking the world -- you think shit's bad now, just wait till Bolsonaro paves over the rainforest! -- and we say "correcto, si claro, comrades!" Don't buy anything today! The new and improved ONE WEIRD TRICK of the Wonkette Bazaar will still be here tomorrow!

We went and bought our own mug press, shirt press, and hat press, and Shypixel gonna handprint everything you could possibly need for your Winter Solstice Druidfest! So come back tomorrow and buy everything!


Mugs. You gotta give us a two-week turnaround on these to learn how to use the infernal machine. After that, we'll have SHOT GLASSES too, we just haven't decided what's going on em. We'll have more mugs in future -- sheeeit, with our own press, we can do one-offs of anything that catches our fancy instead of ordering 200 Shut the Fuck Up Luke Russert mugs that you did not care for! Got ideas? Email rebecca at wonkette dot com, and be sure to be super abusive about it!


KAMALA 2020!

We got men's shirts, and women's shirts, and panties and a mug (see above!) and refrigerator magnets and stickers (they are tinier than we thought so we're not charging hardly anything for em), and we could put her on an apron if you want her on an apron! (We can put anything on an apron, WE GOT APRONS SHAN. I figure they'll be $19.99, with free shipping, and if you want something ELSE on an apron, email rebecca at wonkette dot com!)


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The Wonkette kitten! Get her on a t-shirt like our famous anonymous friend below, or on AN APRON (call me) or on a cup, or on a onesie for a baby that you like! That one doesn't have a whip! DO IT NOW!

HATS! We got so many hats! They say "impeach" or "HELL. NO." or "literally anyone else 2020," or all three in one package, and soon they will say other things, because we will be making them, right in our home!


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TOTE BAGS! Go to the farmers market for your organic artisanal airballs and put them in these nice totes! We can put Kamala or whatever on them too, you got ideas, you know who to email. Fuckin' A!


Other random shit! We got NRA Weak Sad Poop stickers (we could put that on an apron too!) and Elizabeth Warren hotness shirts and Commie Girl Collective stuff and the ensaddening Wonkette Game Of Elections 2016: The Wonkette Elections Game. You could give that to a Trumper, so they can relive their FLAWLESS VICTORY over and over again! And you could know in your heart that they are stupid and dumb.

Go to the Wonkette Bazaar, everything is free shipping in the US, and TEAR IT THE FUCK UP.

You know: tomorrow.

Don't forget your Wonkette is AD-FREE and supported ONLY by YOU. Yes, you should buy stuff (and if you're shopping on Amazon, use the link in the sidebar!), it for sure super-helps, and also you should just plain get out your wallet and give us money.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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