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Wedding photo provided by Karen Yarasavage. Circling done VERY WELL by somebody at NBC News, who is just good at circling.

You guys! Brett Kavanaugh said a fib! Can you believe such a thing?

Last week, Kavanaugh told Senate investigators that he had no discussions with anyone about the allegations against him from his former Yale classmate Debbie Ramirez. He testified under oath ON YOUR TELEVISION that he found out about the allegations from the article in the New Yorker. This seems to be ... not entirely true! In fact, it sounds to Wonkette like Brett Kavanaugh boofed his answer like a common Devil's Triangle!


NBC News reports that Kavanaugh, before Ramirez's allegation was made public, was reaching out to former classmates to try to get them to say Bitches Be Lyin', because abusers have a way of trying to get everybody on their side and isolating their accusers. It's kind of their thing! He seems to have been doing this behind his own counsel's back, perhaps because he is El Dipshit.

In the days leading up to a public allegation that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh exposed himself to a college classmate, the judge and his team were communicating behind the scenes with friends to refute the claim, according to text messages obtained by NBC News.

Kerry Berchem, who was at Yale with both Kavanaugh and his accuser, Deborah Ramirez, has tried to get those messages to the FBI for its newly reopened investigation into the matter but says she has yet to be contacted by the bureau.

Berchem has texts with her friend and fellow Yale alum Karen Yarasavage that serve as evidence Kavanaugh was trying to do reacharounds, to get to potential witnesses before the feds, the media, or Congress could.

In one message, Yarasavage said Kavanaugh asked her to go on the record in his defense. Two other messages show communication between Kavanaugh's team and former classmates in advance of the story.

Berchem's texts show Yarasavage was in contact with both "Brett" and "Brett's guy," which seems to suggest he was conspiring behind the scenes to kill the allegations. He apparently wanted Yarasavage to issue a statement to the media to say "PFFFFFT, DEBBIE! WHO EVEN IS DEBBIE?"

But how can this be! According to Brett Kavanaugh, Brett Kavanaugh only heard about these allegations when Jane Mayer and Ronan Farrow wrote all that #FakeNews in the New Yorker! Is Brett Kavanaugh LYING? Or is this one of those things where we are supposed to say both of their stories are true, but let's go ahead and put Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court anyway, because his Man Statements (and his crying and his lying and his drinking and his barfing) are obviously more important than what some kinda LADIES have to say about it?

Another interesting thing about the texts from Berchem, which she and her lawyer summarized in a memo and have been trying to get to the FBI, is that they seem to suggest Brett Kavanaugh may be trapped in LAYERS OF LIES, related to how long he's really known this might come up. NBC News reports that Berchem's memo says "Kavanaugh 'and/or' his friends 'may have initiated an anticipatory narrative' as early as July to 'conceal or discredit' Ramirez."

JULY. As in, the second he was nominated, Brett Kavanaugh might have been pretty sure ALL THESE WOMEN were about to start telling on him, for being a serial sexual assaulter.

Kavanaugh has tried to act like he's not even 100% sure who Ramirez is, but he apparently recently received a wedding picture from Yarasavage from 1997 -- it was her wedding -- that featured both his fuck-faced self and also Ramirez, at the far end of the photo. (They were both in the wedding party.)

But when Kavanaugh was asked about the wedding during a committee interview on Sept. 25th, he said he was "probably" at a wedding with Ramirez. Asked if he interacted with her at the wedding, Kavanaugh replied, "I am sure I saw her because it wasn't a huge wedding," but added that he "doesn't have a specific recollection." Lying to Congress is a felony whether testimony is taken under oath or not.

Uh huh. Except actually according to Berchem's memo, Debbie Ramirez did everything she could to stay away from Brett Kavanaugh at the wedding, perhaps because of what he did to her, WE ARE JUST SURMISING.

Ramirez, "clung to me" at the wedding, Berchem wrote to Yarasavage in a Sept. 24th text message. "She never went near them," a reference to Kavanaugh and his friends.

What a mosaic we are developing, of exactly what a shitstain on the yellowed tighty-whities of human existence Brett Kavanaugh is and always has been!

As noted above, Berchem has been having a hard time getting in touch with the FBI to tell them what a remarkable piece of shit Brett Kavanaugh is. Kavanaugh's Yale classmate Charles "Chad" Ludington has been having that problem too, trying to notify the FBI that Brett Kavanaugh has been lying about his blackout drinking LI'L BIT OMG SO MUCH. This could be because the FBI investigation is still bullshit, despite Donald Trump's last minute order to let the FBI do its thing and follow whatever leads it finds. We're also starting to consider the possibility that the FBI is simply fielding too many calls right now about what a piece of shit Brett Kavanaugh is, and your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Now please enjoy this nice hold music, which is ... oh look, it's UB40! Yay!

[NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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