Wedding photo provided by Karen Yarasavage. Circling done VERY WELL by somebody at NBC News, who is just good at circling.

You guys! Brett Kavanaugh said a fib! Can you believe such a thing?

Last week, Kavanaugh told Senate investigators that he had no discussions with anyone about the allegations against him from his former Yale classmate Debbie Ramirez. He testified under oath ON YOUR TELEVISION that he found out about the allegations from the article in the New Yorker. This seems to be ... not entirely true! In fact, it sounds to Wonkette like Brett Kavanaugh boofed his answer like a common Devil's Triangle!

NBC News reports that Kavanaugh, before Ramirez's allegation was made public, was reaching out to former classmates to try to get them to say Bitches Be Lyin', because abusers have a way of trying to get everybody on their side and isolating their accusers. It's kind of their thing! He seems to have been doing this behind his own counsel's back, perhaps because he is El Dipshit.

In the days leading up to a public allegation that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh exposed himself to a college classmate, the judge and his team were communicating behind the scenes with friends to refute the claim, according to text messages obtained by NBC News.

Kerry Berchem, who was at Yale with both Kavanaugh and his accuser, Deborah Ramirez, has tried to get those messages to the FBI for its newly reopened investigation into the matter but says she has yet to be contacted by the bureau.

Berchem has texts with her friend and fellow Yale alum Karen Yarasavage that serve as evidence Kavanaugh was trying to do reacharounds, to get to potential witnesses before the feds, the media, or Congress could.

In one message, Yarasavage said Kavanaugh asked her to go on the record in his defense. Two other messages show communication between Kavanaugh's team and former classmates in advance of the story.

Berchem's texts show Yarasavage was in contact with both "Brett" and "Brett's guy," which seems to suggest he was conspiring behind the scenes to kill the allegations. He apparently wanted Yarasavage to issue a statement to the media to say "PFFFFFT, DEBBIE! WHO EVEN IS DEBBIE?"

But how can this be! According to Brett Kavanaugh, Brett Kavanaugh only heard about these allegations when Jane Mayer and Ronan Farrow wrote all that #FakeNews in the New Yorker! Is Brett Kavanaugh LYING? Or is this one of those things where we are supposed to say both of their stories are true, but let's go ahead and put Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court anyway, because his Man Statements (and his crying and his lying and his drinking and his barfing) are obviously more important than what some kinda LADIES have to say about it?

Another interesting thing about the texts from Berchem, which she and her lawyer summarized in a memo and have been trying to get to the FBI, is that they seem to suggest Brett Kavanaugh may be trapped in LAYERS OF LIES, related to how long he's really known this might come up. NBC News reports that Berchem's memo says "Kavanaugh 'and/or' his friends 'may have initiated an anticipatory narrative' as early as July to 'conceal or discredit' Ramirez."

JULY. As in, the second he was nominated, Brett Kavanaugh might have been pretty sure ALL THESE WOMEN were about to start telling on him, for being a serial sexual assaulter.

Kavanaugh has tried to act like he's not even 100% sure who Ramirez is, but he apparently recently received a wedding picture from Yarasavage from 1997 -- it was her wedding -- that featured both his fuck-faced self and also Ramirez, at the far end of the photo. (They were both in the wedding party.)

But when Kavanaugh was asked about the wedding during a committee interview on Sept. 25th, he said he was "probably" at a wedding with Ramirez. Asked if he interacted with her at the wedding, Kavanaugh replied, "I am sure I saw her because it wasn't a huge wedding," but added that he "doesn't have a specific recollection." Lying to Congress is a felony whether testimony is taken under oath or not.

Uh huh. Except actually according to Berchem's memo, Debbie Ramirez did everything she could to stay away from Brett Kavanaugh at the wedding, perhaps because of what he did to her, WE ARE JUST SURMISING.

Ramirez, "clung to me" at the wedding, Berchem wrote to Yarasavage in a Sept. 24th text message. "She never went near them," a reference to Kavanaugh and his friends.

What a mosaic we are developing, of exactly what a shitstain on the yellowed tighty-whities of human existence Brett Kavanaugh is and always has been!

As noted above, Berchem has been having a hard time getting in touch with the FBI to tell them what a remarkable piece of shit Brett Kavanaugh is. Kavanaugh's Yale classmate Charles "Chad" Ludington has been having that problem too, trying to notify the FBI that Brett Kavanaugh has been lying about his blackout drinking LI'L BIT OMG SO MUCH. This could be because the FBI investigation is still bullshit, despite Donald Trump's last minute order to let the FBI do its thing and follow whatever leads it finds. We're also starting to consider the possibility that the FBI is simply fielding too many calls right now about what a piece of shit Brett Kavanaugh is, and your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Now please enjoy this nice hold music, which is ... oh look, it's UB40! Yay!

[NBC News]

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OOH BOY HOWDY, The Federalist is on fire this week! Just this morning we told you about the hilarious Federalist column where one neo-Nazi's mom and dad are Democrats, ipso facto QED NEO-NAZIS ARE THE REAL LIBERALS, FUCKERS! Is America's dumbest woman whose name doesn't rhyme with Cara Snailin' over there being a total fuckin' Mollie Hemingway right now? Sadly, she blocked us on Twitter, so how could we possibly know? The answer is WE DON'T CARE.

But now we have a gem of the Federalist genre, an article written by a whiny-ass gay quisling conservative, who would like to chew on his blankie and whine about how much harder it is out there for a conservative than it is for a gay person. This is a subject we happen to have some knowledge about, because we are super gay! And we know a lot about conservatives, both firsthand -- being subjected to them every single one of our almost four decades of life -- and also from covering extremist right-wing Christians for a very long time. Particularly the kind that tell young, impressionable, vulnerable gay kids that they need to pray away the gay if they want Jesus to exercise some self control and refrain from sending them to a fiery hell for all eternity.

We clicked on the article with high hopes. See if you can spot why:

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pic via Glamour Shots, we mean this dude's old website

The House Education and Workforce Committee was all set to have a hearing today all about the horrors that a higher minimum wage would wreak on the economy. Horrors like rich people being slightly less rich. Horrors like business owners claiming they will have to fire people and charge $15 for a McChicken if forced to pay workers a living wage, which they won't actually do because no one will buy a $15 McChicken and they would go out of business if they tried that, and they already don't hire more people than the bare minimum they can get away with. Horrors like poor people not being "motivated" to work harder and get better jobs that do not pay them an amount no human being could possibly live on.

Alas, as Politico reports, it was not to be, as committee members discovered their big witness for the hearing, San Diego State University economist Joseph Sabia (pictured above in a Glamour Shot from his archived website), was kind of a wacko.

Sabia, as it turns out, once had a blog called "No Shades Of Gray," in which he wrote many columns of an extremely homophobic and sexist persuasion. In one of these columns, in 2002, Sabia was very mad about one man's lawsuit against several fast food giants for contributing to his health and obesity problems by failing to disclose the nutritional information of the food they sold. In retrospect, I think most people are now on board with these chains being required to post calorie counts and other nutritional information, but in 2002, Sabia was convinced that requiring them to do this would be an assault on freedom for all Americans everywhere. His response to this was to try and attempt a Jonathan Swift posture and suggest taxing gay sex, which he claimed leads to "disastrous health consequences."

Because sure, that's the same thing, basically.

In gay sex, we have an activity that is clearly leading to disastrous health consequences. What rational person would engage in this sort of activity? There is only one solution - let's tax it.

"Come on, Sabia," you say, "how are you going to enforce these taxes? Are you going to send government officials to peep into everyone's bedroom?"

Eventually. But first we have to mount the assault on Big Gay (no, I am not talking about Rosie O'Donnell). We can tax gay nightclubs, websites, personal ads, sexual paraphernalia, and so forth. Talk about a sin tax!!! We can cripple gay-related industries and get them right where we want them. All gay clubs will have to feature huge, flashing warning signs like "CAUTION: Entering this nightclub may increase your chance of contracting STDs and dying."

Big Gay clearly lures people into trying their "product" without discussing the risks to mind, body, and soul. The average Joe on the street does not understand all of the possible bad outcomes. I can almost hear him now:

"They said '100 percent hotties.' I thought that meant it was fun. I thought gay sex was OK…Now I have all these diseases. Big Gay has wrecked my life."

In the immoral words of Warren G, "Regulators!! Mount up!"


In another 2002 article, classily titled "College Girls: Unpaid Whores," Sabia laments that feminists have led college girls to stop trying to be like the Holy Virgin Mary and instead to aspire to be more like that hussy Ally McBeal.

No, really.

As women have strayed from the church, they have replaced what is holy with what is temporally pleasing. For Catholics, the model woman is Mary, the virgin Mother of God. She is beloved by the faithful for her unflappable devotion to and trust in God, her nurturing of the Son of Man, and her deep love for all humanity.

Today's college girl looks to Ally McBeal, the trollops of Sex in the City, and the floozies on Friends to set their moral compasses.

The sad truth is that college girls are so desperate to find love that they are willing to degrade themselves to get it. But true love can only be understood in the context of the Word of God. Any other notion of "love" is secular and, by definition, limited and finite.

Not only that, but instead of going to college to find a husband, they have boyfriends. Boyfriends they have S-E-X with. And sometimes, not even that. Sometimes they have sex with people just because they want to have sex with people, and not even in exchange for Valentine's Day cards or money!

Additionally, other sex-based relationships have become commonplace. In recent years, a new and disturbing arrangement known as "friends with benefits" has emerged. In this arrangement, men are not even forced to perform the normal duties of boyfriends, i.e. flowers, Valentine's Day cards, rides to the abortion clinic, etc. Instead, girls consider these guys "just friends" whom they happen to screw every now and again. No strings, no attachments, no dinners. Just sex when they feel like it.

This type of arrangement is the next logical step in the direction that young women have drifted in the last few decades. These women have become unpaid whores. At least prostitutes made a buck off of their trade. These women just give it away.

How cute! He was like the ur-incel, basically.

Anyway, following the discovery of the posts, the House Education and Workforce Committee's GOP communications director Kelley McNabb told Politico that "members were uncomfortable moving forward on the hearing." A more optimistic person might think this was a step forward, that maybe those committee members actually thought it was bad to suggest that being gay means being a disease-ridden monster or that college girls are whores, but it's probably more to avoid embarrassment than anything else. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and find a crappy economist who will tell them what they want to hear about the minimum wage but who doesn't have an embarrassing Geocities blog in their past. Good luck with that!


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