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He knows you are but what are he?


Oh boy, Glenn Greenwald is having a day on the internet! OK, to be fair, it started yesterday, because Greenwald is prone to being dumb on the internet multiple days in a row. While lots of people were having lots of different reactions to Israel's outsized and unnecessary slaughter of Palestinians, you know, to keep Jerusalem safe so that asshole Ivanka Trump could blow kisses at people who are stupid enough to be impressed by her, Greenwald had a different kind of GOTCHA! in mind:

Oh isn't that clever? You see, because Glenn Greenwald, like his president, is pretty sure the Robert Mueller investigation is a Fake News witch hunt made up by the Democrats to make excuses for an election they should have won, and because he also, wittingly or unwittingly (but probably wittingly, unless he's stupider than we thought) works for the interests of Putin, he is LOL-ing, mostly for his own edification, about how corporate shill whore Deep State Democrats probably will blame Putin for Israel slaughtering Palestinians. Ha ha, Glenn! Using Palestinian deaths to push your Kremlin agenda! LMAO!

Some people agreed with him and replied "HAW HAW RACHEL MADDOW!" (because that's the only joke they know) but many more pointed out that what he said was pretty disgusting. And then there was this reply:

Pretty much says what most of us feel all the time, about Greenwald.

But oh boy, Glenn Greenwald DID NOT LIKE THAT! However, instead of actually saying something witty (Glenn Greenwald is not funny) or just ignoring it like a common person who doesn't have an obsessive need to respond to every tweet, he decided to insinuate that the Tweeter was attacking him for his SEXUALITY:

Wow, Glenn. From one gay internet news guy who proudly sucks dicks to another, go fuck yourself. Because that shit was as vapid as Sarah Huckabee Sanders's defenders whining that Michelle Wolf was being SEXXXXXXISSSSSSSST by "criticizing her appearance," which she did by saying she has a perfect smoky eye made of the ashes of her lies.

Aaron Rupar of Think Progress noted that Greenwald's reaction was very Milo-esque:

After successfully telling a girl to shut up on Twitter and stop gay-bashing him for being an idiot, Glenn Greenwald went back to retweeting fuckhead Russian journalists saying the Mueller investigation is fake news because he's only gotten 22 indictments so far and none of them are even for NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION, YOU ARE THE COLLUSION, apparently because both Glenn Greenwald and the fuckhead Russian journalist are too stupid to know how federal investigations like these work when you're squeezing people to flip on those higher up than them.

OK, that's enough Glenn Greenwald for this week, maybe we'll do a post where we use Chris Cillizza as a chew toy tomorrow. OPEN THREAD!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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