Maggie Haberman has some more excerpts from former GOP House Speaker John Boehner's new book I Hate Ted Cruz And So Can You, and it is just some more good clean cigarette-stenched merlot-soaked fun. He is so cranky, and while we don't agree with the man on just about anything, we are here to listen to him call his fellow GOP confreres a bunch of lunatic fascist shitwhistles.

In the last big excerpt we read, which ran in Politico, Boehner focused on the batshit "new class" of Republicans that came to power in 2010. "You could be a total moron and get elected just by having an R next to your name—and that year, by the way, we did pick up a fair number in that category," he correctly wrote, in a statement that could apply to pretty much any year a Republican has been on the ballot in recent history, and is far worse now.

The excerpts Haberman put in the New York Times are more focused on the now, or more specifically, on the Capitol terrorist attack. He writes that Donald Trump absolutely "incited that bloody insurrection" on January 6. He says he "wasn't prepared for what came after the election — Trump refusing to accept the results and stoking the flames of conspiracy that turned into violence in the seat of our democracy, the building over which I once presided."


Mr. Trump, he goes on, "incited that bloody insurrection for nothing more than selfish reasons, perpetuated by the bullshit he'd been shoveling since he lost a fair election the previous November." Mr. Boehner writes, "He claimed voter fraud without any evidence, and repeated those claims, taking advantage of the trust placed in him by his supporters and ultimately betraying that trust."

Guess John Boehner doesn't like that Donald Trump character so much. He also blames Trump for losing the Senate for Republicans, which we guess is fine, since Boehner correctly says the GOP is currently run by "whack jobs."

Boehner says he's not "surprised in the least" by who in Congress ended up supporting Trump's attempt at a fascist coup based on his Big Lie. "The legislative terrorism that I'd witnessed as speaker had now encouraged actual terrorism." That's right, Tucker Carlson, it was terrorism.

"Watching it was scary, and sad. It should have been a wake-up call for a return to Republican sanity." Nodding to the divisions between the parties in Congress now, he writes, "Whatever they end up doing, or not doing, none of it will compare to one of the lowest points of American democracy that we lived through in January 2021."

A "return" to Republican sanity. OK. We won't be holding our breath while we count our chickens, or however the expression goes.

Wait, when was there Republican sanity? Sometime before we were born? Oh well anyway.

Haberman reports that the Trump camp responded to Boehner's remarks through butthole-mouthed spox Jason Miller, who said something along the lines of DURRRRR DURRRRRRR JOHN BOEHNER COMMUNIST CHINA. Trump also responded, saying something about DURRRRRR DURRRRRR JOHN BOEHNER DRINKS A BUNCH OF MERLOT. Those are just very good and adult replies from the Trump camp.

Wonkette review of book we have not read is that we ... might read it? Just because Boehner is such a saucy, cussy, crabby old wine-soaked diva? Like, it seems way more fun than reading that tedious James Comey crap from a few years ago, whatever it was called, we think it was Not All Heroes Wear Capes, Unless I'm Wearing Capes That Day. Something like that.

[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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