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  • Now that the oil spill/disaster/catastrophe is finally over (?!), BP is looking into another option to seal the well called "static kill" or "bullheading." Static Kill involves shooting heavy mud and ground-up chunks of Haley Barbour into the well. You can add these methods to "top hat," "top kill," and "junk shot" on the list of dirty oil sex maneuvers that you've been inspired to try by BP. [New York Times]

  • All those tiny bubbles coming up from the seabed and the wondercap are nothing to worry about, according to Admiralismo Thad Allen, because they're probably not a big deal. Hell, they may not even be related to the BP well. Pressure is continuing to rise at the rate of 1 PSI per hour so keep the cap on for another 24 hours and let's see what happens with this thing! Experts say that if it all goes boom, we're sorry, because we're really not sure what the hell is happening." [New Orleans Times-Picayune]

  • Florida is sad it never got in on the whole offshore drilling thing because it would make the fouling of the state's beaches, destruction of the fisheries and cratering of the tourism industry easier to swallow. [AP]

  • Now that nature is really angry at mankind, these oil drilling machines are gonna blow up even more than they did before the Deepwater Horizon oil spill/disaster/catastrophe. [Houston Chronicle]

  • Not only is nature God trying to kill the Gulf of Mexico and everybody that lives on its coast but so is our dear Manchurian leader Barack Obama. [National Review]

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