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Perhaps you are a normal person in America, by which we mean you are a man and you are white. (All other permutations of "human" are merely walking, whining "identity politics.") Maybe you have innocently hounded women out of your industry after they were bitches who didn't fuck ya, or accidentally raped someone you work with. And now, all of a sudden, all these feminazis are wanting your precious bodily fluids! But the precious bodily fluids they want are "your blood" instead of the sperms you would have happily shared on them, or the nearest potted plant.

Maybe you have even lost your job, even though you have a family (even a wife!) to support. Well, buck up. Because Mel Gibson is starring in a blockbuster Hollywood Christmas comedy, about family, and Christmas!

"Mel Gibson, I remember him!" you are saying, "he did 'locker room talk' about a female officer's 'sugar tits'. Hilarious! And also something about 'The Jews.'"

He did indeed, and we all had a good laugh about it. Oh, Jews! Oh Sugar Tits! LOLOLOLOL. Then he beat his girlfriend a lot, knocking out her teeth, while she was holding their daughter. Here he is screaming at her that he hopes she get raped by a pack of n---rs because her breasts are too big and he does not like it:

And here he is being a terrifying lunatic and admitting he beat her face in.

Marky Mark Wahlberg also stars in the movie, and he also has a violent racist past, having beat a Vietnamese man unto blindness, but he was a teenager, so we cut him some slack because teenagers have not formed all their brains yet, but WHOOPS, it turns out he did many more racist violences -- many of them -- including hitting little black girls in their heads with rocks when he was 16.

Whatcha doing, Will Ferrell and John Lithgow and Paramount Pictures? Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. That's ... actually, that's really a shame.

But what a relief, everything's back to normal and coming up white men.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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