excited barack obama GIF by Obama

Welcome to night two of the Democratic National Convention on Zoom! If you missed last night, just go here to watch Michelle Obama's speech, because that's the main thing you need to watch from last night.

Again, reminder to all speakers participating in the Democratic Convention: Because it is on Zoom this year, PLEASE TO MAKE SURE your naked husband does not accidentally run through the frame while you are saying patriotisms about Joe Biden!

Tonight's theme is Leadership Matters, which the DNC explains like this:

Leadership means rising to meet the nation's challenges, not making them worse. To Joe Biden, it's about putting the country ahead of yourself, and taking on the tough fights even when it's unpopular. It's about making sure the government — the military, the judiciary, the scientists, everyone — is working in the national interest, not a president's political interests. Tuesday's focus is on the leaders and the experts, the veterans and the activists, all those who seek to unite and not divide, and who step up — not back down — from a fight over what's right.


Tonight should be good. In the first hour, we will have former acting attorney general Sally Yates, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and former president Bill Clinton. Also some kind of "roll call" thing, we dunno, we think that is how they are going to officially nominate Joe Biden. Chuck Schumer. John Kerry. Other people yappin'. We dunno.

Then there is going to be a keynote address from 17 WHOLE PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME, and they are all rising stars in the party. There will be people you know, like Stacey Abrams, and also people you maybe don't know yet but will soon because of how they are badass, like Tennessee state Senator Raumesh Akbari. Also Birmingham Mayor Randall Woodfin, Rep. Conor Lamb, and however many others it takes to get to 17.

In the last hour, we will have an address from former second lady and future first lady Dr. Jill Biden. (Remember what we said about no accidental naked husbands running across the screen? That would be NOT A GOOD LOOK for his campaign, so let's make sure he is in the basement during your speech, Dr. Biden.)

If you get bored or need a break during Chuck Schumer or something, HGTV has the "Good Bones" show, where the mom-and-daughter team in Indianapolis get historic homes for zero dollars and knock down all the walls until there are no walls anywhere, maybe not even on the outside, we dunno, and then they sell it for $500K. In the second hour it is "House Hunters" and "House Hunters: The Cooler Foreign Edition," but really you should watch Dr. Biden, because she is the best.

The festivities start here in a little bit, so grab an 84-pack of adult beverages and settle in. Drink every time they have a technical difficulty! (Do not do that.)

Here's your video:

Democratic National Convention: Day 2 www.youtube.com

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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