Dr. Ronny Jackson PEACES OUT. Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 26, 2018

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Dr. Ronny Jackson has withdrawn from consideration to be VA secretary amid MORE allegations that he is/was a reckless party monster that include dispensing opioids, and wrecking a government vehicle while wasted. Jackson issued a BITCHY statement this morning where he calls the allegations "false and fabricated."

Rudy Giuliani has reopened negotiations with Robert Mueller's team to get Trump to sit down for an interview. Trump is "convinced" a quick chat with a "fair-minded arbiter" will flush this whole pee hooker mess down the toilet. [Archive]

Lawyers for Trump's scumbag lawyer, Michael Cohen, are saying Cohen intends to plead the Fifth in light of the FBI raid on his office, in an attempt to delay the civil suit being brought by Stormy Daniels. LOCK HIM UP!

Jeff Sessions wouldn't tell the Senate Appropriations Committee if he's recused himself from the Michael Cohen case, but Sessions did note his familiarity with the law and lawyerings.

Cambridge Analytica whistleblower Chris Wylie testified that Steve Bannon personally instructed staff to "test" certain messages like pictures of Putin, Russian expansion in Western Europe, and phrases like "build the wall," and, "drain the swamp." Wylie also testified that Mike Flynn was brought in as a consultant to "open doors," and that "Cambridge Analytica was set up to be essentially a full service propaganda machine."

Grifty EPA chief Scott Pruitt is headed to the Hill for a bipartisan beating over his absurd financial shenanigans, but sources say Pruitt is likely to blame everything on his staff.

Scott Pruitt has unveiled his new rule to limit what science can be used in writing EPA policy, that way corporations can't get hurt if a toxic spill kills something or someone.

Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand is advancing legislation to establish a postal banking system that would kill payday lenders by offering small dollar loans and creating small dollar checking and savings accounts, as well as other basic retail banking services. GOOD!

The Supreme Court appears poised to uphold Trump's Muslim bantravel restrictions on minorities from Muslim-majority countries after Justice Kennedy seemed to waffle on several key aspects of the case.

Jared Kushner has been quietly working the House to pass prison reform so that future white collar criminals don't suffer the same fate as his father, but the Senate just shanked it to death.

Some Senate Republicans want to limit the time for debate on bills, but the proposal is being met with ire from the old fogeys who remember a time when they didn't have to resort to legislative fuckery just to pass a damn spending bill.

Officials in the Fed are worried the economy may be "overheating" and are considering slamming the brakes in fear that the oddly low unemployment numbers could trigger inflation, and suddenly destabilize financial markets.

A new poll from Axios shows Democrats actually have a chance at winning three Senate seats from vulnerable Republicans, but don't get cocky!

HEY CALIFORNIA! Y'all need to get your shit together because your overcrowded jungle primaries are about to leave you with nothing but Republican candidates in November. Do you want Dana Rohrabacher? Because this is how you get Dana Rohrabacher!

Texas Republican Gov. Greg Abbott wants the unfuckably ugly Blake Farenthold to pay for the entire special election to replace him in the Texas 27th. Don't worry, he's rich, and the Bro-Caucus never paid out of pocket for their booze or sexual harassment settlements. The election is set for June 30.

Tens of thousands of teachers will protest across Arizona and Colorado today as part of a grassroots initiative to increase school funding and teacher pay. #RedForEd

Federal prosecutors are considering retrying a Border Patrol agent on lesser charges after he was acquitted by a jury of second-degree murder in the death of a Mexican teenager.

French President Emmanuel Macron sounded like your ex-boyfriend, B. Barry Bamz, when he told a joint session of Congress to reject isolationism, and accept climate science, adding, "Human rights, the rights of minorities and shared liberty are the true answers to the disorder of the world." [Full Video]

Macron also talked to some kids and said a cuss. IN ENGLISH!

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un will head to South Korea to meet with President Moon Jae-in to discuss an end to nuclear hostilities...after planting a pine tree in the DMZ.

Some of the Russians the US booted out last month were potential spies trying to track down Russian defectors and their families.

Pro-Brexit conservatives have cornered Theresa May and are demanding she do a "clean break" from the EU, or face a leadership challenge -- this as support for pro-EU legislation continues to grow.

A new poll by Fox News has Trump's favorables below 45 percent. LOL, LOW RATINGS!

Trump called into Fox and Friends this morning to ramble on and on about Michael Cohen, and blather about Yeezy being better than T'Challa, or something. IDK, we muted the teevee because he was just shouting like a crazy person.

Rapper Kanye West went on a weird pro-Trump Twitter tirade, complete with white-power hand gestures and MAGA hats.

The New York Times got audio of a meeting between NFL owners, players and execs discussing the National Anthem protests last year, and it's about as detached from reality as you'd expect.

MSNBC is sticking by Joy Reid amid controversy over anti-LGBQT+ statements appearing on her old blog. Reid alleges she was hacked, but many in the tech community remain skeptical. The FBI is currently investigating, and Reid is laying low.

Diamond and Silk will head to the Hill to bitch about haters on Facebook. Meanwhile, Facebook will continue to lobby Congress critters behind the scenes.

And here's your morning Nice Time! RED RIVER PIGGIES!

Freedom isn't free, but Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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