Draw Us A Pete Buttigieg, Win All The Prizes!
For months now, people have been asking us for Mayor Pete merch in the ol' Wonkette Flea Market and Garage Sale of Love. But, and this is a problem for "creative" people who work with their "brains," we can't fucking think of any. Is that not sad? Do you not weep millennial mayoral gay tears for us?
So let's do a contest. Win the contest and receive a whole suite of your design on a T-shirt of the appropriate size for you AND a loved one, a coffee cup, maybe a sticker if it would look good on stickers, a tote bag, fuck it, AN APRON. WE HAVE APRONS. To give you some time to futz with your photoshoopery, we will announce a winner at lunch on Friday. So YOU make a picture (not from something already copyrighted please, unless you love sending us money for lawyers) and post it in the comments for love from your comrades, or send it to rebecca at wonkette dot com if you are shy of comments because people are MEAN.
Now that you have your marching orders for the Contest of Fun, a gentle reminder that Wonkette is ONLY funded by YOU! We had that one Amazon link, but they said we couldn't "suggest that your purchases would support our website," despite that being the whole fucking point, so we extremely belatedly, considering their evilness, took it out yesterday. (If you're ever planning on making a really gigantic purchase there, you could email me for a Wonklink to the product, SO THAT YOU CAN SUPPORT OUR WEBSITE.) Also, while we're on the related topics of evilness, idiots, the Wonkette Bazaar, and boobs, Facebook won't let us show our Kamala Harris superhero shirts OR our Wonkette kitten shirts to our followers there because they said it's all just too much breast. The Wonkette kitten is a line drawing of Catwoman (with my face shopped in), minus any breasts at all! OK, and you all have already bitched to us that the Kamala superhero has too much breast, which is why we made this very beautiful no-breasts simple graphic that's pretty. Who is no fun? Facebook! And you!
Called you no fun and yelled at you? Then now it is time to tell you how to become a monthly donor! (We skipped last month because even we couldn't handle another moneybeg. You're welcome!) You can click the clicky below -- input an amount, hit "just once" or "monthly," and then click the box for either Paypal or Stripe, because if you're like my mom you didn't hit either Paypal or Stripe and thought you'd been donating to us for months.
Or, and this is new, you can hit us up at Patreon. We figure the more funders we get over there, the more "the algorithm" will show us to others, so if you're new, maybe you would like that! But don't just willy-nilly cancel your old donation to donate to us over there, because I promised to make one of our part-timers full-time for every extra $5 large a month, and I can't do that if it's the same $5 large. So don't do that unless you really really really want an $18 option for Jews.
OK, ready, set, Mayor Pete design contest, donate donate donate, and OPEN THREAD? Open thread.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.