DRUDGE SIRENS! Beyoncé Murdering White America For The CIA!
See? Isn't she so scary?!
We knew Beyoncé was a multi-tasker but OMG. What you didn't know? Matt Drudge can tell she is an "urban terrorist":
That dumbass closet case also tweeted out some scary pics of Bey:
Once Alex Jones saw this, he did runny sharts in his diaper, because he was scared that Beyoncé The Urban Terrorist was out there in the streets, doing terror:
Pop icon Beyonce invokes “urban terrorism” in a new music video which appears to rally people behind the notion of unprovoked violence.
In a video for “Hold up,” the controversial star – whom Obama once labeled a great “role model” for children – destroys businesses, smashes car windows and sets off explosions as kids cheer on in support.
WHOA IF TRUE!
So, if you are currently dead, you might not be aware that Bey released a new "visual album" this weekend, replete with videos for each song like she did last time. It is called Lemonade, and it's very good!
And in the video for the song "Hold Up," Beyoncé is VERY smashy smashy. She fucks up some cars and breaks things with a baseball bat, and when she's done doing that, she fucks up cars some more, with a monster truck! But it's not actually a song about being an urban terrorist or how Beyoncé wants to rampage through your town and do vandalism to your car. It's about infidelity!
Poor, poor Alex Jones is a dingleberry-flavored twat-rocket though, so he doeesn't get the visual metaphor of Bey being mad and fuckin' shit up because she's pissed that asshole cheated on her. He does however take it to mean she hates all men, of course.
Oh, and she is also being funded by the CIA:
We see Beyoncé get up there at the Super Bowl and do these anti-cop riot videos, and we see her out with a new video with little girls following her skipping as she beats up cars, blows things up and goes crazy with a baseball bat. And then you understand that the Super Bowl on Fox, and Viacom, MTV, are the most establishment organs there are, and admittedly the most hooked up with the CIA and the criminals that have hijacked the Defense Department ... and you research it, and they're directly connected to it.
I know for a fact Beyonce and Viacom and her record label ... are hooked into this. And then she sits there with this rage GRRRR great actress GRRRR police GRRRR you're the enemy of my people and baseball bats and everything, so young people go out and act like maniacs, it's happening, and try to start a race war in this country. [...]
Again, this is admitted high-level -- it turns out basically everything they put on the Super Bowl or out on Viacom is run by CIA propaganda because that’s their domestic job.
WOW! So she is an "urban terrorist," she is secretly funded by the CIA, and of course we all know she is Illuminati, because Glenn Beck told us.
Wonder if Jim Hoft, The Stupidest Man On The Internet, wrote about this in his illiterate way:
Beyonce becomes domestic terrorist in new music video.
Beyonce promotes urban terrorism in her latest video.
Yes, those are actual words Jim Hoft wrote. And he linked to the same thing Drudge linked to, an idiot wingnut critic named Roger Friedman, who thinks Obama should stop calling Beyoncé a role model and also KIDS THESE DAYS and GET OFF MY LAWN, etc.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/600283/breaking-beyonce-does-not-want-to-murder-all-cops"></a>[/wonkbar]Anywho, this is a familiar pattern by now. Beyoncé does a thing, and very sad, pantshitting scared white people blow a gasket, because Beyoncé is either black or a lady or sexy or a feminist or dances naughty or is way too gross about about how she sex-bangs her man or wants to murder all cops. (Beyoncé does not actually want to murder all cops.)
We don't know why these white dudes are such pussies, but we trust God has a plan for them.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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