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Timmi Lawrence


Tomi Lahren is this loud racist lady who was spawned in the "Friday Night Lights" section of hell, and because of the wonders of wingnut welfare, she has a new job at Fox News, where she probably should have been in the first place. Is she stupid, or at least willing to play stupid for a paycheck? Check. Total wingnut? Check. Blonde? You betcha.

We don't know if this is Timmi Lawrence's Fox News debut, and honestly, we don't care enough to look. All we know is that the genius who runs the Fox Twitter account thought this thing she said on Hannity was good enough to tweet out. We guess they were proud of it:

Um, OK. Cool. Fox News and Tillie Larson will stop musing like the overpaid dumbfucks they are about the completely made-up story about Hillary Clinton's deleted emails, because they are actually stupid enough to think Hillary deleted ALL KINDA SHIT about how she literally ordered the Benghazi attack, JUST AS SOON AS the real news networks stop covering the Trump-Russia scandal, which is an actual thing people are likely to go to jail over and which may end Donald Trump's presidency. Also, they are just saying out loud that they are focusing on the made up story about the person who is not in office so they can avoid the other story, which they don't like, because it is real, and they don't like it. And, again, they are saying this with their mouths, and tweeting it with their fingers, and is the Fox News social media manager a HILLARY MOLE? We are just asking.

What else is dumbass up there saying? She says she had a bunch of "friends" who were "in Benghazi" (oh really?) and they really want to know about Hillary's emails. Her "friends." The ones who were in "Benghazi." They "ask Tammy Lauren about it." We "believe her."

Here's the video if you like watching things that make you dumber:

Tori Lemming is probably very excited about her move to Fox News. Poor thing doesn't know it's a demotion, since her particular style of deafening dipshittery is de rigueur over there and she's just going to blend in with the other dumbfucks. Before you know it, Wonkette won't even put her name in headlines. It'll just be "Fox News Idiot" here and "Fox News Dumbass" there, and we won't even notice her again until she files a sexual harassment lawsuit, because that's what happens at Fox News.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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What's up fuckers? Were you waiting for me to come back from Mexico and write words at ya? Well, you know I don't write words at ya anymore, because of how I hate you, each, individually, but more importantly Trump has knocked all the words right out of my silly little lady brain.

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BONESAW WEEK WILL NEVER END! It's like Infrastructure Week, only stuff actually happens. And the stuff is all horrible! This morning, Saudi authorities indicted 11 suspects in the October killing of Jamal Khashoggi, announcing their intention to execute five of them. Despite copious evidence that the killing in the Turkish consulate was ordered by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, lackeys are going to take the fall -- with their heads. And the US Treasury Department dutifully responded by imposing sanctions on 17 Saudis "involved in the abhorrent killing" of a legal US resident who was in the process of applying for citizenship. So, we're good now, yes? We can go back to selling them murder machines to kill Yemeni civilians?

And then SHIT GOT WEIRD.

NBC reports that the Trump administration is so desperate to resume normal relations with Jared Kushner's BFF MBS that they're trying to trade 77-year-old cleric Fetullah Gülen -- a lawful resident of Pennsylvania for 20 years -- to the Turkish government in exchange for them dropping the inquiry into the Khashoggi murder.

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