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Dumbos Baffled By Site Move

The Internet is a computer-based system that constantly bafflesdumb people who use the Internet. This tragic fact was proven again today when our favorite website, "Country Above Self," excitedly announced that Wonkette had shamefully removed all the Wonkette posts calling "Country Above Self" a virtual home for the retarded.


In confusing reality, Wonkette moved from its old home on Gawker's computerized computer servers to our new home at BlogAds/Pressflex, which has different computerized computer servers. Regular readers of our site know this, because the whole site has been crazy fucked up since Wednesday night and is only now starting to return to normalcy, as they say.

So the old tags don't quite work yet, meaning if you use last week's URL for the tag "country above self," it goes nowhere. Worse, we have a whole week's worth of posts -- from the Kentucky/Oregon primary to Wednesday night -- that your editor is moving by hand, from Gawker's Movable Type system to the new Wordpress system, because they weren't part of the export/import database made last week, which means we also lost the comments from that week. We are sorry if those comments are lost, but we have faith that you people, our Wonkette Commenters, will make comments even more offensive to the dumb douchesacks who do this pathetic "Country Above Self" website, which honestly features a little American flag with shit on it, next to the names of political or entertainment figures these retards are so excited about.

Our own Jim Newell is putting all of our Country Above Self posts on the front page again, just to make it very clear how much we enjoy having posts about these sad, AM-radio-listening halfwit poor people who live in trailer parks with their adult retarded children. We want everyone to laugh at the retarded people, again.

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No pressure in November, but looks like the Supreme Court is going to do FUCK ALL about gerrymandering this term. In a unanimous decision authored by Chief Justice Roberts, the Court remanded the landmark Gill v. Whitford redistricting case on standing -- in other words, they won't be ruling on it because the plaintiffs challenging the gerrymander hadn't adequately proved that they personally had the right to challenge Wisconsin's preposterous districts.

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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