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Dumbos Baffled By Site Move

The Internet is a computer-based system that constantly bafflesdumb people who use the Internet. This tragic fact was proven again today when our favorite website, "Country Above Self," excitedly announced that Wonkette had shamefully removed all the Wonkette posts calling "Country Above Self" a virtual home for the retarded.


In confusing reality, Wonkette moved from its old home on Gawker's computerized computer servers to our new home at BlogAds/Pressflex, which has different computerized computer servers. Regular readers of our site know this, because the whole site has been crazy fucked up since Wednesday night and is only now starting to return to normalcy, as they say.

So the old tags don't quite work yet, meaning if you use last week's URL for the tag "country above self," it goes nowhere. Worse, we have a whole week's worth of posts -- from the Kentucky/Oregon primary to Wednesday night -- that your editor is moving by hand, from Gawker's Movable Type system to the new Wordpress system, because they weren't part of the export/import database made last week, which means we also lost the comments from that week. We are sorry if those comments are lost, but we have faith that you people, our Wonkette Commenters, will make comments even more offensive to the dumb douchesacks who do this pathetic "Country Above Self" website, which honestly features a little American flag with shit on it, next to the names of political or entertainment figures these retards are so excited about.

Our own Jim Newell is putting all of our Country Above Self posts on the front page again, just to make it very clear how much we enjoy having posts about these sad, AM-radio-listening halfwit poor people who live in trailer parks with their adult retarded children. We want everyone to laugh at the retarded people, again.

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Yeah, that's my daughter and I made this

Guys!

Last

month

was

crazy!

First, NASA sent its last message to the Mars Opportunity rover! THEN scientists said that all the insects are dying but not the human-looking ones in the GOP. As if THAT wasn't enough, some brave pendejos with grandes cojones are going to try and get seafloor creatures from under a giant ice shelf in the ANTARCTIC!

So, yeah, all three of those stories happened last month. Let's cover each in a science lightning round.

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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is terrible at her job. Her objectives and overall mission are evil, but if it's any consolation she can't effectively implement them. After buying her Cabinet position at Sotheby's, DeVos has spent the past two years trying to roll back Obama-era policies designed to protect and actually educate students. Unfortunately for her evil schemes, federal courts keep smacking down her slimy efforts. It's getting embarrassing.

DeVos recently had to cancel $150 million in student loan debt after courts said her attempts to stop the "borrow defense" regulations from taking effect were in fact illegal. Last week, she was forced to instruct colleges to follow the Obama rule barring mandatory arbitration agreements. She got kicked in the teeth earlier this month when a federal judge ruled she'd acted illegally ... again. This time, DeVos tried to delay an Obama-era guideline that required states to address racial disparities in their special education programs. Judge Tanya S. Chutkan called the delay "arbitrary" and "capricious."

The rule, drafted under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, would require states to identify districts with "significant disproportionality" in the number of minority students channeled into special education services, segregated in restrictive classroom settings or disciplined.

OK, so what was the "education" secretary's issue with this rule? We want to imagine there's some rationale we're not seeing and DeVos is more than just some yacht-collecting monster.

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