Election Recycling: John Edwards Is Very Beautiful Edition

ewwwwww Gay marriage ban defeated. Christian groups vow fight; Bush "deeply disappointed," but softened wording: "What they do in the privacy of their house, consenting adults should be able to do. . . But that doesn't mean we have to redefine traditional marriage." [WP, WP, NYT, WT]

Bush rallies base. Dowd: "In close elections in today's environment, the old political strategy of focusing just on independents won't work. Campaigns have to motivate supporters at the same time of appealing to swing voters." [WP, NYT, WT, USAT]

Contrary to wild speculation, Cheney insists he'll stay on ticket. [NYT, WP]

Edwards, in Iowa, begins solo tour with positive tone: "Tony Blair didn't run from the report [on faulty intelligence]. It's because he understands what leadership is. . . What we need in the White House is somebody who has the strength, courage and leadership to take responsibility and be accountable, not only for what's good, but for what's bad." [WP, NYT, LAT]

Kerry reaches out to black, Hispanic voters with ad buy; speech to NAACP today. Black lawmakers say ads are uninspired, lackluster. [WP, LAT, BG]

NAACP complains of Bush's decline; Bush to address Urban League. Said lecturer, "You send subtle signals to the conservative white South that we don't like those radical extremist black leaders, even though no fair-minded person thinks the NAACP is radical." [WP, LAT, WT]

"Ask the President" events are limited to Bush supporters. [LAT]

Bush ups attacks. [WT]

Bush support softens in Ohio. [USAT]

Kerry accused Bush of not reading intelligence report he didn't read himself. [NYT]

Teresa brings unconventional, intimate style to campaigning: "I have to say that John Edwards is very beautiful. And my husband is very smart." [NYT]

Hillary says she's not disappointed with convention speaking schedule; Carville predicts she'll give speech. [NYT, WT]

Voting mechanisms in Florida still a mess. [NYT]

Ridge applauds DNC security, warns of terror. [WP, LAT, WT, BG]

Slim-Fast drops Whoopi for Bush jokes. [USAT]

[AFP/Getty Images/Spencer Platt]

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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