It's going down for real in the House Oversight Committee. Wonkette's Legislative Badass honoree Rep. Elijah Cummings, who has subpoena power now and ain't that a shame, just dropped a giant request for documents on new White House Counsel Pat Cipollone. Who's ready to find out how all these Russian assets in the White House got security clearances? WE SURE ARE!

The Committee on Oversight and Reform is launching an in-depth investigation of the security clearance process at the White House and Transition Team in response to grave breaches of national security at the highest levels of the Trump Administration, including by former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn and others.

Just a little "Welcome to the Team" gift for Cipollone. Don McGahn left some big shoes to fill, but we're sure Covington Catholic's most distinguished alum (yes, really) is up for the job. He can start by splaining why the White House has failed to report to Congress about its compliance (or otherwise) with national security clearance requirements in defiance of federal law.


After that, Chairman Cummings has one or two small questions, such as:

  • Why didn't you idiots suspend Michael Flynn's clearance when Sally Yates told you he was lying about his contacts with the Russian spy ambassador?
  • Jared Kushner repeatedly failed to disclose his contacts with Russian officials, and you chuckleheads still let him see state secrets, WTF?
  • Hey, Mike Pence, we Democrats on Oversight asked you like six times why you let Mike Flynn's idiot son Pizzagate Jr. work on the campaign without a clearance, and you fed us some BS about him doing "scheduling." Not gonna fly anymore!
  • What's up with all the wifebeaters in your shop? You didn't think that was a security issue? REALLY?
  • Care to splain why John Bolton is NSC when he's been hanging out with known Russian spy Maria Butina?
  • A year into the Trump Administration, there were 130 people on temporary security clearances in the Executive Office of the President. Are you guys just incompetent, or are you spies?

(Wonkette may be paraphrasing here.)

And after they got through with that, the White House can tell Congress how Sebastian Gorka, a charlatan who got turned down flat for a security clearance, kept his White House job for SEVEN MONTHS.

Last year, when Democrats sent all those requests for information, the White House told them to get bent. But those days are OVER. After a thorough fumigation, they got the Gowdy funk out of the committee workspace, and Elijah Cummings is ready to roll.

Among the information requested, we are particularly interested to see:

  • Documents sufficient to show all individuals for whom the White House granted access to sensitive or classified information while those individuals are or were under investigation by law enforcement authorities or who previously were convicted of crimes;
  • All documents related to any assessments done by the White House, FBI, or other agency following the revocation, suspension, or denial of an interim or permanent security clearance to determine the national security risk or potential exposure of national security information;
  • All documents related to a security clearance or White House clearance granted to any White House employee or appointee for whom any White House Security Personnel Office recommended an unfavorable adjudication decision, including the name of each subject; the dates of the recommendation and decision; the reasons for the recommendation against employing or granting a security clearance to the subject; the reasons for the ultimate decision; and the names of all individuals involved in the adjudication and decision process;
  • All documents and information provided by Mr. Bolton, General Flynn, Mr. Flynn, Jr., Mr. Gorka, Mr. Kushner, Ms. McFarland, and Mr. Townley, or their associates to the Executive Office of the President relating to their contacts with foreign nationals over the past seven years

Oh, they'll have so much to talk about at those hearings Cummings will be scheduling starting February 11! And it was nice of Cummings to cc Jim Jordan on his demand letter. Now that Jordan's king of the little dogs, we're sure he'll yap up a storm. Elections have consequences.

Love the smell of functioning government in the morning!

[Cummings Letter]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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