Elijah Cummings Is Going To Kick Michael Flynn Right In His Russian Ass

Michael Flynn and his best pals

There's more big news in the investigation into how disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn is a big possible Russian spy/definite America-hatin' foreign agent! It turns out that way back in 2014, when President Obama fired Flynn's ass, the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA)  specifically told Flynn he was not to take money from foreign governments without getting permission from Congress. Moreover, the DIA says there's no evidence he ever did ask for permission, and now the Pentagon's inspector general is investigating Flynn. This is according to documents released by Rep. Elijah Cummings, Democratic ranking member on the House Oversight Committee. (Read the documents here! )

Rep. Cummings is pissed off, because seriously dude WTF:

"These documents raise grave questions about why General Flynn concealed the payments he received from foreign sources after he was warned explicitly by the Pentagon," said Rep. Elijah Cummings, the top Democrat on the House oversight committee, in a statement. "Our next step is to get the documents we are seeking from the White House so we can complete our investigation. I thank the Department of Defense for providing us with unclassified versions of these documents."

Rep. Cummings and Republican oversight committee chair Rep. Jason Chaffetz (who we guess is currently AWOL in some hospital getting his hobbit foot shaved in advance of his URGENT OMG! foot surgery) received a briefing Tuesday, where they viewed documents that appeared to show Flynn didn't comply with the law in reporting all the payments he took from hostile foreign governments. They had also written the White House asking for any documents it has on Flynn, and the White House told them to fuck off. Subpoenas may be necessary! Will Chaffetz be around to sign off on that while he's getting enemas put in his feet at the hospital? DUNNO!

Just this week, we learned that Flynn's work as a LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT for Turkey seems to have Russian dressing all over it, and of course we already knew he had taken money from various Russian entities as well, including RT, the Russian propaganda TV network. Donald Trump was clueless about all of this, according to Donald Trump, a known pathological liar.

Like we said, Elijah Cummings is pissssssssed. He held a presser on Thursday morning, and let's just say he has a few words for the White House. Here, watch him get mad as he explains the documents his committee is releasing:

Cummings: Flynn was warned explicitly in 2014 not to accept foreign $ without permission; didn’t seek permission when he took Russian $ 2015 pic.twitter.com/wSqe4mMa9L 

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) April 27, 2017 

And now, Cummings would like to tell the White House to eat dicks, for obstructing his investigation:

Cummings says the White House is “covering up for Michael Flynn … it makes the American people think the White House has something to hide” pic.twitter.com/Zq3VBN5wY9 

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) April 27, 2017 

Earlier this week, the White House refused, absolutely refused, to produce even a single document, not a SINGLE document, in response to the bipartisan document request that I sent with our Republican chairman. Not one syllable. I watched Sean Spicer make all kinds of excuses about how hard it would be to comply with our request. COME ON, MAN!

Look, General Flynn served in his position for 24 days, so that excuse from the White House will not fly. I honestly do not understand why the White House is covering up for Michael Flynn. I don't get it. After the president fired him for lying. So the president fired him for lying about his communications with the Russian ambassador. They should be bending over backward to help us. It does not make any sense, and it makes the American people think the White House has something to hide. There is obviously a paper trail, ladies and gentlemen. There is a paper trail that the White House does not want our committee to follow, but let it be known that we will follow it. We will follow it with everything we've got.

FIGHTIN' WORDS. Asked by a reporter whether Jason Chaffetz is being any goddamn help in this investigation, Cummings said "NO," and added that Chaffetz denied his request to call Flynn to testify before their committee. Meanwhile, Speaker Paul Ryan, Chaffetz's boss, has no earthly idea whether Flynn broke the law, because SHRUGGIE 'MOTICON. (Weird how Republicans just don't know what to do with these Trump scandals, when they -- including Flynn! -- were all so keen on screaming LOCK HER UP! about Hillary Clinton.)

Senator Richard Blumenthal also participated in the presser, and said there is "powerful, mounting, incontrovertible evidence" that Flynn broke "federal criminal statutes," and that he must be "prosecuted." He then noted that, since the Trump administration and its lackeys in the Justice Department are part of the cover-up, we need a special prosecutor, like yesterday:

Blumenthal: “powerful, mounting, incontrovertible evidence that there has been a violation of criminal law” by Flynn; “must be … prosecuted” pic.twitter.com/cK25d7Efgm 

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) April 27, 2017 

So! This just keeps getting funner and funner, doesn't it?

Flynn, through his lawyer, has said he wants to testify before the congressional intelligence committees, because he has a "story to tell," but he wants to do so in exchange for immunity. We have a different idea, which is how about he testify in exchange for FUCKING NOTHING and then go to jail, where his ass belongs?

 Wonkette is funded by readers like you! If you like us, click below, to help us write dick jokes to you! 

[ New York Times / CNN ]