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Eliot Spitzer's Super-Premium Luxury Prostitutes

He is sorry he spent all that moneyOutrage has swept the nation following revelations that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer probably paid $4300 to meet with a high-priced call girl in Washington D.C. Sure, everybody's horrified and baffled that such a straight shooter would violate the sacred marital bond and betray his constituents' trust. But the real puzzler is this: isn't $4300 a little on the steep side for a lady of the night? Who does this guy think he is, Howard Hughes?


Some scientific online research shows us that $4300 is far, far too much to pay for a prostitute, and that Governor Spitzer is not a smart shopper. He could have flown to Nevada for the weekend and had a fancy hooker at his hotel for the crazy rates those ladies in DC were charging! He could have bought himself a delightful 30-inch Viking gas range, for Pete's sake!

With all its budget woes, New York does not need a spendthrift creep of a governor jetting off to DC to have his needs looked after. At the very least, he should invest locally.

"Client Number 9" Bombshell Affidavit [Page Six]

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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