Elizabeth Hasselbeck So Mad About All These Gross Lazy Poor People With Their Fancy 'Television' And 'Cell Phones' And 'Food'


Elizabeth Hasselbeck is doing a pretty great job as Fox & Friends' new Gretchen. Like, first, she totally has blond hair. Second, she is also possessed of a vag. Third, she can completely say idiotic things about whatever Fox wants her to say idiotic things about, and today that idiotic thing is the Poors.

Awesome dood John Stossel did a nice little video package asking people on welfare whether or not they owned such unbelievable luxuries as "cell phones" and "televisions" and "air conditioning." When they said "yes, in fact they did own those unbelievable luxuries because of how they are all secretly Imelda Marcos times Leona Helmsley, except black," well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck had some thoughts.

"Ewwww," she thought, and that was her whole thought, because nothing else was written onto the talking points memo she was stumbling over because she is frankly not that good at her job.

Come back Gretchen Carlson. All is forgiven. :(


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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