Elizabeth Warren Chops Off Donald Trump's Manhood, Mounts It Above Fireplace

Troll so hard.

[contextly_sidebar id="MxwuEgMTkAt7Iz3ON68ehxHNB4HHNs63"]What were we JUST saying about how Republican menfolk are a-scurred of Elizabeth Warren? Oh yeah, it was that thing where a no-name GOP representative from Missouri was sadly wishing somebody would go to the Senate and slice off Sen. Elizabeth Warren's giant low hangers, because she is mean to Republicans all the time. And now she's taking aim at Republican presidential frontrunner Donald J. Trump, in a series of tweets that seem tailor made to cut him down to size, if you get the subtle dick joke we are going to be making all the way throughout this post.

She starts off in Nerd Land like she always does, saying hey maybe if Donald Trump The Terrific Doubloontillionaire was better with ahem! money, he might have way more Ameros than he currently has:

OK so those are some pretty #SickBerns from Her Royal Liz-ness, but you're probably ready for her to really get going, aren't you? You can't wait for her to fully relieve him of his dick, and shove it up his nose so he accidentally snorts it into his brain like a cocaine booger, yeah? Here you go:

Yep, that should do it. Trump's impending drunk Twitter tantrum promises to be YOOGE. As a nice preview to that, he's already called her "The Indian" during a presser this afternoon, so wheeeeeee!

[contextly_sidebar id="GkL99Z8hHkSGK7DxrzwOyKPg10Q9OAF5"]It's one thing to call Trump names. It's a whole 'nother animal to say directly that Trump acts the way he does because deep down, he knows he fucking sucks. He knows that if he'd been born to another family, maybe the child of a Mexican immigrant who was either a rapist or just lovely, he would be NOTHING.

[contextly_sidebar id="tC7vBsWfRuXvBsNXjf944mDOsjo2rSVT"]And hey, maybe Sen. Warren is on to something! We've heard recently that the only reason Trump really decided to run for president is because he desperately craves to be taken seriously in politics, instead of being viewed by all intelligent people as a blubbering ass. (Guess that's why he likes the "poorly educated" people!) According to the New York Times, his poor widdle ego got so bruised at the White House Correspondents' Dinner when Seth Meyers and Barack Obama said jokes about him that he cried and pooped his underthings and blood came out of his wherevers (metaphorically obviously, the way the riots he's predicted are "metaphorical," uh huh) and ran for president just to prove a point.

[contextly_sidebar id="mmhGrZ8YJEf2ED2bczVc1kSqb7vcLEWH"]Maybe that's why he's so shitty toward self-possessed women like Megyn Kelly, who dare to libel him by quoting him verbatim. Maybe that's where the petty bullying, attacks on women, cheap racism, and flagrant narcissism comes from?

In short, maybe the poor little smegma-twat loser named Donald J. Trump knows he's a loser, and he's desperate to find somebody, ANYBODY, in this world he can actually believe he's Better Than. But it never works, because every time he looks in the mirror, there's that disgusting persona again.

We have no pity, of course, we are just being a rude backseat psychologist.

Warren fired off a couple more tweets about how hey, losers, just because HE'S a loser doesn't mean he can't win, because hey, you know who ELSE was a loser?

She is just saying.

[contextly_sidebar id="e0QiVP2FI8RB2z4AUOtIHl64ZQIp8euj"]And once she was finished Just Saying, we assume she went to share Lunchables and braid hair with Beyoncé and Hillary Clinton and Saul Alinsky and Jesus or whoever she goes to lunch with, probably a bunch of people who would return Donald Trump's calls if he wasn't such a pathetic loser.

[The New Civil Rights Movement / Elizabeth Warren's Tweeter]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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