Elizabeth Warren Endorses Hillary, Because They're Both Corporate Sell-Out Monsters. Obviously.


Did you all watch the Rachel Maddow television program on Thursday evening? If you didn't, you probably missed badass Senator Elizabeth Warren officially throwing her support behind Hillary Clinton for president of U.S. America! How did you miss that? Luckily, yr Wonkette was watching, so we can now tell you about it.

Maddow asked, hey, what's up with these rumors that you are going to sell your soul to the Clinton-Satan Industrial Complex and endorse? Here's what she said:

I'm ready. I am ready to get in this fight and work my heart out for Hillary Clinton to become the next president of the United States — and to make sure that Donald Trump never gets any place close to the White House.

Sounds pretty cut-and-dried to us!

Of course, this is Liz Warren, who is very shy about speaking her mind, so she didn't say much of anything else. KIDDING.

Warren said she didn't endorse during the primary because she thought the conversation Bernie AND Hillary started was so important for the Democfats to have, LOUDLY. She also had some very kind words for how awesome Bernie's campaign was:

What Bernie Sanders did was just powerfully important. He ran a campaign from the heart, and he ran a campaign where he took these issues and he really thrust them into the spotlight. ... These are issues near and dear to my heart. And he brought millions of people in to the political process. He brought millions of people into the Democratic party. And for me, that's what this is all about.

And what about all those Bernie supporters?

There is a very big and important home here [for Bernie supporters]. I think about what's at stake in this election, and I think about what happens if the Republicans have the White House, the Senate and the House of Representatives. Say goodbye to the Affordable Care Act, and that means 20 million people who lose their health insurance just like that.

AND Dodd-Frank AND the Supreme Court, Warren says we can kiss all that shit BYE-BYE if Trump wins. And she's right.

I think about what's at stake. It's literally people's lives, it's our economy and it's the very fabric of our democracy.

And why does she think Emails McBenghazi is such a great candidate?

Hillary Clinton won. And she won because she's a fighter, she's out there, she's tough! And I think this is what we need. Look at who she is. For 25 years, she's been taking the incomings, the right wing has thrown everything they possibly can at her. ... A lot of people would just hang up their spurs, they'd say, you know? I've had enough of this. And she doesn't. What she's done is she gets back up and she gets back in the fight.

Hard to argue with them apples!

So ... could Elizabeth Warren be the vice president? That's what Rachel Maddow would like to know. Warren, of course, says she really likes her current job, and doesn't want to be the veep. But, if Hillary picked her (IF!), Rachel wants to know if Warren thinks she would actually be ready to be president if, heaven forfend, something happened to Hillary. After all, that dope Ed Rendell said you're "not in any way, shape, or form ready to be commander-in-chief." Say, Liz, do you think you would be ready?

Yes, I do.

MIC DROP, BYE FELICIA. That happened in the second part of the interview, which is why there's another handy video right here, for you to fap to. (STOP FAPPING TO POLITICAL TALK SHOWS, YOU GUYS, IT'S WEIRD.)

So, that's that. Elizabeth Warren has endorsed Hillary, and everything is just gumdrops and blowjobs in Democrat-land, and everybody is being really nice to Warren on her Facebook right now, except LOL just kidding, people are yelling at her about how she's not the person they thought she was, she's bought-and-paid-for, she's a sell-out, what a monster, blah blah blah, PFFFFFFFFFT, whatever.

[The Rachel Maddow Show / Philly.com]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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