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Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren just keep making us love them more and more, what with being terrible mean nasty women, the way all good Americans should be. Yr Wonkette is ready for a Warren/Harris or Harris/Warren ticket RIGHT GODDAMN NOW, please and thank you!

Oh, we suppose you want to know what they did, huh? Well, fine, though really if you all just paid closer attention we wouldn't have to spell it out for you. But then we wouldn't be paid to write political fart noises, either, so you just keep not having already heard stuff, OK?

For starters, Kamala Harris had this perfect reply to Daily Mail reporter Emily Goodin, when Goodin asked whether Harris was tired of being talked about as a great VP choice:


If people want to speculate about running mates, I encourage that, because I think that Joe Biden would be a great running mate. As vice president he's proven that he knows how to do the job, and there are certainly a lot of other candidates that would make, for me, a very viable and interesting vice president.

We completely agree! Joe Biden should just be America's permanent vice president, and anyone who has a problem with that is full of MALARKEY! Also, this is a good time to remind you all of the finest thing Bob Dole ever said. Back in 1976, when he was running as Gerald Ford's veep nominee, Dole was asked why he wanted to be vice president: "It's indoor work, no heavy lifting."

And then there was Elizabeth Warren, in a beautiful dressing-down today of Comptroller of the Currency Joseph Otting, who is in part responsible for regulating super-fraudy megabank Wells Fargo. Warren is no fan of Wells Fargo, what with all the fraud against its customers. (Hey, let's create unwanted accounts to collect more fees!) Warren wants the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) to make public the results of its review of Wells Fargo's next CEO, because really, that's a thing people should know!

Otting got snippy, said he didn't have to if he doesn't want to, and insisted that "no one has been more tougher [sic] on Wells Fargo than myself." (Don't believe ABC News's cleaned up quote.) Warren was not impressed:

In conclusion we would like Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren to both be president, please. Also you should buy some of our fine Wonkette merch! We have some fresh new bumper stickers that will strike fear in the hearts of bank CEOS and Joe Biden, which is sort of the same thing! (We kid, Joe. ON THE SQUARE.)

For Kamala Harris!

For Elizabeth Warren!

Also, IMPEACH!!!!

Click the clickies! Buy the stickies! Yr Wonkette is stuck on you, so you should buy our stuff and stick it on any flat surface it's legal for you to do so!

Also it is your open thread now.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Photo by Wonkette operative 'Zippy W. Spincycle'

Last week, Yr Dok Zoom talked a little bit about his damn dissertation, which looked at "Wabbit Literacy," the weird thing where we sometimes learn about the world from parodies and jokes long before we ever encounter the original stuff -- like learning about opera from cartoons. More than one person in the comments (which Wonkette does not allow and yet, like life, you find a way) mentioned they were disappointed, as kids, to learn that while roadrunners are real birds, the actual critter looks nothing like this:

Which is not to say that real roadrunners are the least bit disappointing, as animals go, because they're freaking incredible. Yes, even if they don't actually leave lines of flame down the center line of desert highways and go "Meep! Meep!" But they can sprint up to 20 miles per hour, which is faster than you, albeit slower than a real coyote's top speed. Also, yes, real coyotes are among the predators what eat roadrunners, which is why the wily birds adopted the evolutionary strategy of running right through fake tunnels coyotes paint on the sides of mountains.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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