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Look. Thesenew PUMAs are really annoying. They're as reactionary as the Paultards circa late 2007, but at least the Paultards had ideas, man, they had a fuckin' ethos. These PUMAs, on the other hand, are thoughtless, easily manipulable and selfish to the extent that when they don't get what they want, they blame everyone else for stealing something and offending them, when really no significant events in the real world could affect them in any meaningful way. These are the people who get personally offended, for some reason, when they hear that Britney Spears went driving with a baby on her lap, or, more pertinently, when Hillary Clinton didn't get as many delegates as her contender. Grow up.


We considered warring with them for hilarity's sake, but they're just too pathetic and besides, frigid January is a poor time of the year to commence warring.

So enough with the Confluence bloggers, who will not shut the fuck up about how we're cheating simply because we have many, many votes in the Weblog Awards. Well, guess what, Confluence, some blogs get 100,000 visitors a day, and some blogs are Confluence. Goodbye forever.

A couple of other things you can do, though, to fuck with these PUMAs from the privacy of your own home.

  • In "Best Small Blog," we wholeheartedly endorse the excellent Rumproast blog, and you should vote for them daily. They have bravely been messing with the PUMAs since this summer, consistently, and with hilarious results. The PUMAs noticed that they'd been nominated in this category and are mobilizing their entire Internet loser base to prevent Rumproast from winning. Make Rumproast win.
  • Another "major" nominated PUMA blog this year in the category of "Best New Blog" is one called "Uppity Woman" (jesus christ) and it cannot be allowed to win. So we arbitrarily endorse another one called "~ synthesis ~" because it has a fun-lookin' name. Vote "~ synthesis ~", the best new blog in America.
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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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