Aw, Rep. Eric Swalwell, bless your heart, this is what we do on Twitter all day too!

Swalwell's link was to the House's newly released (partial) tranche of evidence handed over by Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainian-American chucklefuck pal Lev Parnas, which, if you haven't heard yet, includes HOLY SHIT OMG and also THE FUCK YOU SAY?

Chris Cillizza's link, meanwhile, was to one of his own shithole hack articles about how Nancy Pelosi has completely "gambled and lost" with her impeachment delay. Cillizza was paid actual money to write that shithole hack article, which was published mere minutes before the House Intelligence Committee released all that Parnas evidence.

So, Chris. Do you want to update it? Hahahaha, no, he does not.

Here is a screenshot of the articles from Cillizza's dank corner of CNN published just before and after this crap-ass thing on Pelosi, none of which are titled "Oh God, I Am So Stupid, Please CNN Fire Me Before I Write My Thoughts Again."

In the offending piece, Cillizza argued unconvincingly (redundant!) that Pelosi's decision to transmit the articles of impeachment this week was a "concession" that her delay "failed." He argued that Pelosi wanted to "force Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's hand," and that she was just a big loser at doing that and got "hung out to dry," based on GRRR ARGH words he said on the Senate floor that, we guess, read to Cillizza as Raw Turtle Power.

Now, Cillizza concedes that McConnell has now been fucked into a corner and will probably have to allow witnesses in a Senate trial, including John "I am not part of whatever drug deal Sondland and Mulvaney are cooking up" Bolton, which is a far cry from McConnell's former position, which was that he wasn't about to be some kinda fuckin' so-called "impartial juror." (Of course, he still isn't. Obviously.) McConnell also signed onto a dead-on-arrival resolution to dismiss the articles before even receiving them, but he doesn't even have the votes to dismiss them once they are officially transmitted later this afternoon.

But still -- alas -- Cillizza feels in his pundit soul that it is a "major stretch" to say any of that had to do with Pelosi's delay. Certainly not! Mustn't give the lady credit for something she very clearly did! Cillizza says, instead, that Pelosi "uh, underestimated" (direct quote) how much the Senate is not about to let the speaker of the House be the boss of them, as if Pelosi is brand new at this whole "Congress" thing and is completely unfamiliar with the natural tension that exists between the upper and lower chambers of Congress.

You bet.

Of course, here we are, and shitloads of evidence just keep coming out, and Republicans are backed further and further into their corner, essentially forced to conduct a fair trail they really really really really really don't want to conduct. And why? Well, for one thing, America clearly agrees with Nancy Pelosi that any lack of a fair trial amounts to a cover-up.

In her Dear Colleague letter last week, and also today on the House floor, Pelosi read out the evidence that's come forward since Trump was impeached on December 18, all of which just serves to further bolster the House's case against Trump, and will prove invaluable to the House impeachment managers as they make their case, and as the Senate decides on whether to call witnesses.

Here's Pelosi's floor speech today, which was incredible:

And here are the bullet points of new evidence from Pelosi's Dear Colleague letter:

  • On December 20, new emails showed that 91 minutes after Trump's phone call with Ukrainian President Zelensky, a top Office of Management and Budget (OMB) aide asked the Department of Defense to "hold off" on sending military aid to Ukraine.
  • On December 29, revelations emerged about OMB Director and Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney's role in the delay of aid, the effort by lawyers at the OMB, the Department of Justice and the White House to justify the delay, and the alarm that the delay caused within the Administration.
  • On January 2, newly unredacted Pentagon emails, which we had subpoenaed and the President had blocked, raised serious concerns by Trump Administration officials about the legality of the President's hold on aid to Ukraine.
  • And on January 6, just this week, former Trump National Security Advisor John Bolton announced he would comply with a subpoena compelling his testimony. His lawyers have stated he has new relevant information.

That's BEFORE Lev Parnas's texts. And now we have those, and more are coming. (He's going to be on Maddow tonight! Wheeeee!) God even knows what we'll know by Tuesday when the Senate trial will likely fully get underway.

If Pelosi had simply transmitted the articles of impeachment after they were passed, Mitch McConnell the impartial juror would have likely tried to have the case dismissed with prejudice before Santa Claus even came to visit, and we'd be doing ... precisely what now, Chris Cillizza? What would we be doing that's better for our institutions and the Constitution right now? Seriously, we'd like to know.

The point of this post is that Nancy Pelosi very clearly won in the eyes of all observers who know a fucking thing, Eric Swalwell is being mean to Chris Cillizza about it like a common Wonkette, and Wonkette, also like a common Wonkette, is here to take 900 words to rub Chris Cillizza's failed face in it, because that is what we do, for a job.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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