Eric Trump Helpfully Reminds Voters His Dad Palled Around With A Pedophile
Republicans collectively leapt with joy when Jeffrey Epstein's alleged accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell was arrested Thursday for sex abuse charges. This wasn't necessarily because they gave a damn about Epstein's victims. They were just delighted to play another thrilling round of “Bill Clinton's A Pervert." They probably also think the Macarena is a fresh dance move.
Eric Trump, the president's second worst son, tweeted a photo of Clinton walking his daughter, Chelsea, down the aisle at her 2010 wedding. Pictured among the guests was someone who looked like Maxwell. (I can't confirm the actual guest list. I know she didn't invite me.) Trump grossly commented, “Birds of a feather ..."
Trump probably shouldn't have joined the guilt-by-association game considering his father was photographed so often with Epstein you'd think they were in a 1990s boy band together. Also, unlike our beloved Slick Willy, Donald Trump is actually president right now and has an election coming up in a few months.
Within minutes, Eric Trump was getting dunked on Twitter like a doofus.
Well that's just awkward. https://t.co/nE4PE7E7QS— Josh Jordan (@Josh Jordan)1593735226.0
Yep, there's the president -- back when he was safely a celebrity asshole without access to the nuclear codes -- canoodling with Epstein and Maxwell, who is charged with serving as Epstein's “madam" and not the cool Dolly Parton kind but the kind that enables child rape.
This was such a self-own you'd think Eric Trump was working for Joe Biden's campaign, but we know that's not true because Biden has standards.
Seriously, why would he tweet this? https://t.co/ibSDUkPKNP https://t.co/b4S3SvApP1— George Conway (@George Conway)1593738347.0
George Conway couldn't understand why Eric Trump would tweet this. Although, to be fair, we don't understand some of Conway's major life choices, either. MSNBC producer Kyle Griffin was flabbergasted: Didn't Trump know there were all these photos of his father with Epstein and Maxwell?
We shouldn't lose sight of the fact that Eric Trump is dumb as a box of hair. Someone who may very well have to review an instruction manual whenever he uses the toilet might not have realized the Pandora's Box of grossness he was opening. Trump eventually deleted the tweet -- it's unclear if the president's White Power! Rapid Response team reached out to him -- but the damage was done.
You'll notice Melania Trump appears in one of these photos. This was from 1990, before she signed her demonic contract with Trump. She doesn't look happy to be there, but that's her normal facial expression so it's hard to interpret as a moral statement.
Sunday, during a segment on Maxwell's arrest, Fox News repeatedly showed this photo but the network edited out Trump. However, it kept Melania in the picture. Maybe it was too hard to photoshop both the president and the first lady or -- yes, I know this is petty -- they didn't recognize Melania as the first lady. They thought she was just a pouty-faced model hanging out with gross rich assholes, and to be fair, that's kind of how she rolled at the time.
Anyway, Fox News was soon caught with its Trump-loving pants down, and the network expressed its regrets Monday.
"On Sunday, July 5, a report on Ghislaine Maxwell during FOX News Channel's America's News HQ mistakenly eliminated President Donald Trump from a photo alongside then Melania Knauss, Jeffrey Epstein and Maxwell," the statement said. "We regret the error."
It's possible people wouldn't have recognized Melania Trump in that photo if we hadn't already seen it in context, so thanks to Eric Trump for helping it go viral. You're a credit to the family name.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).