Eric Trump Promoted To Second Dumbest Trump Offspring
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It is the end of the day, therefore you get a fancy and fun video to watch! It is Stephen Colbert, apologizing for always assuming Eric Trump is the dumbest human-type thing Donald Trump ever spermed into existence. It is very funny, and we can vouch for that because we definitely have already watched it, you betcha.
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) July 12, 2017
We must admit we have also always assumed Eric is the stupidest Trump offspring. Here are some sample Wonkette headlines, about Eric Trump:
- Did Eric Trump Win A ‘Fugly Nazi Makeover’ Contest Or Did He Just Get A Haircut?
- Broke-Faced Eric Trump Wants To Tell Us Who Qualifies As 'People'
- Eric Trump: That Boy Just Ain’t Right
- Eric Trump Knows Daddy Wouldn’t Nepotism Him If He Wasn’t Such A Good Boy
- Eric Trump’s Daddy Running For President Just To Get His Baby Boy A Real Christmas Tree
- That Eric Trump Boy Just Ain’t All That Bright
For real, we talk VICIOUS shit about how obviously stupid Eric Trump is, as it is our journalism responsibility. Like, just look at his face:
We always knew Donald Trump Jr. was very stupid too, don't get us wrong. Like, look at his face:
But Colbert is right. After Junior TOTALLY VINDICATED himself of charges of attempting to conspire/collude/bareback with the Russians, by tweeting proof that he attempted to conspire/collude/bareback with the Russians, the boys must switch places in the "Who's the stupidest Trump?" contest.
Here are your updated rankings of the Trump offspring, from dumbest to smartest:
3. Ivanka, who is still hereby invited to go fuck herself.
2. Tiffany, who is smart enough to be FAR AWAY FROM THIS SHIT, as she is off on vacation doing Instagram selfies with her boyfriend in Europe.
1. Barron gets the title of Smartest Trump, because first of all, he's a minor child, and we don't make fun of the children, and second of all, it's probably true.
Now have an open thread, all you lovely fuckers.
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