Eric Trump Seems Upset

Eric Trump is upset, y'all. That New York state attorney general's investigation into his daddy's business seems to be giving him the whimpers and the shakes and the willies. He probably needs a ThunderShirt.

How else to explain this video of young Eric on Fox News last night blubbering that New York AG Letitia James's investigation is literally unconstitutional?

In that video, Trump whines that James "ran on the campaign promise of suing my father because she didn't believe in his political party." He whines that her investigation "violates the Constitution," but strangely fails to cite a specific place in the Constitution where it says anything about how it's illegal to be mean to his dad. He claims he has "dozens of videos" where Tish James says she's "gonna get him, I'm gonna get his children." He says this is just like Russia and Venezuela, "third-rate stuff."

So the news here appears to be that there is a monster hiding under Eric Trump's bed, and in his closet, and inside his underpants.

The other news here is that if you just listen to the audio, Eric is starting to sound like a Ben Shapiro/Madison Cawthorn hybrid. So thoughts and prayers for that.

Anyway, we would note that young Eric's father literally ran for president swearing he was going to LOCK HER UP his political opponent Hillary Clinton, and that he at the very least giggle-jizzed along while Russia stole his political rival's emails, then weaponized them to help his campaign and hurt hers.

Also, Letitia James's investigation is not about Trump's politics, but rather about whether his company, where Eric works, committed a whole shitload of fraud.

So shut your dumb fucking baby mouth, Eric.

In this next short clip, Eric Trump is either lying or confused, because he says James's investigation is "gonna stop" because "we've assembled the best legal, ethical minds, and we're gonna sue her for this abuse of power." Whoever told Eric Trump that the "best legal, ethical minds" are willing to work for the Trump family should be ashamed of themselves. What you gonna tell him next? That Santa loves him? That the Tooth Fairy died for his sins?

Speaking of those "best legal, ethical minds" here's one of them, Alina Habba, saying James is a "sick person who really really truly has taken her oath of office and just weaponized it." They have filed a new injunction! We have not read it, but we are certain it's a very serious document from very serious lawyers.

In other related news, Rachel Maddow reported last night that Trump attorneys have now had to meet with investigators in the Fulton County, Georgia, district attorney's office. So maybe we'll start seeing some movement with that investigation, maybe?

Regardless, we can see a mounting number of reasons the Trumps and those representing them might be shitting every pair of pants they own.

How embarrassing for them all.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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