Erick Erickson Says Be Nice To Megyn Kelly And STOP SAYING HE FUCKS GOATS
Perusing our morning Twitter, we saw this thing from GOP ragey douche-smack Erick Erickson, and immediately said, "I don't even want to know why."
Who gives a shit, right?
We've seen the INCESSANT promos for Megyn Kelly's new TV show, "Let's Not Talk About The More Talented Black Lady They Fired To Make Room For This Circle Jerk," and every single time, we have been like "EYEROLL, NBC, WE DO NOT CARE." It's full of Megyn Kelly talking about how she's done with politics and just wants to Oprah up the world with Nice Time and togetherness and unity, kum-ba-yah, my Lord, blah blah blah, as if we don't remember her centuries of service to this nation as a Fox News partisan hack.
Unfortunately, we clicked on Erickson's thing, and unfortunately, that is precisely his point. Liberals are the worst because we're just not that interested in watching her show (which seems to amount to a VIOLENT BOYCOTT, in his eyes), and this is a crime against #civility and #America, two things Erickson knows a lot about.
We still weren't going to write about Erickson's dumbass thing, until we got to this paragraph:
Back in 2009, I said something terrible about outgoing Justice David Souter. All these years later it still comes up from people who dislike me as a reason no one should listen to me or take me seriously. They are entitled to do that, but the lack of grace being shown is spreading.
Hahahahahahahaha, TELL IT TO WONKETTE, GOAT-LICKER!
In case you forgetted, Erick Erickson called former Supreme Court Justice David Souter a "goat-fucking child molester," and he is right about how CERTAIN PEOPLE will never let him live it down. For instance, famous chronicler of historical events Wonkette has featured the following headlines over the years:
CHUCKLE SNORT LMAO, that Wonkette is such a card! And you know what? We're not stopping, because we don't want to.
But there is a point, which is that Erickson is always decrying America's heathen lack of incivility, but calling Souter a "goat-fucking child molester" is hardly the only time he's failed to live up to his own preaching. This is a guy who once shot a copy of the New York Times with a gun because it published something that hurted his heart, and then he TOLD HIS READERS TO DO THE SAME.
As Wonkette hilariously remarked at the time, Erickson "can ejaculate rancid semen on his keyboard with the best of them, but it sure stings when some of it gets in his eye." (Know what doesn't sting his eyes, ALLEGEDLY? Goat cum.)
And now he wants to be dashing Sir Lancelot to Megyn Kelly. AGAIN. Back in 2015, after Donald Trump famously said Kelly had a gushing nosebleed in her vagina, Erickson came down with the vapors and disinvited Trump from his very prestigious RedState gathering of MENSA scholars. Soon after, he published a piece from a contributor on RedState that said Hillary Clinton's only accomplishment in life was to prove that even ugly chicks can fuck their way to the top.
Our point is just to say we don't really feel like watching Megyn Kelly's dumb show, and if Erick Erickson doesn't like it, we cordially invite him to stew about it while he fucks a goat.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.
[Whatever Erick Erickson's website is called. The Intercept? The Intercourse With Goats? Just kidding, it's THE RESURGENT]