Evangelist Endorses Obama Because George Bush Disrespected 'Matthew,' From The Bible
An evangelist named Dr. K.A. Paul, whom theNew Republic has called the most popular evangelist in the world (read: has sodomized more little boys than the others), has shockingly endorsed the Muslin candidate, Barack Obama, in what must be an all-time first! This dude, who we will respectfully dub "The Other Dr. Paul" for the sake of LIBERTY! and FREEDOM!, offered three reasons for his endorsement: restoring America's image abroad, eliminating the Bush/Republican economic policies, and punishing George W. Bush for his ineffectiveness in bringing about the second coming of Christ as the Bible had ordered him to do. As you can see, one of these reasons is insane on a COSMIC SCALE. What kind of drugs must this guy be on to think that the Bush economic policies have failed us??
This is the kind of psychobabble that emerges when someone tries to criticize Bush and the Republicans from the religious right:
“Number one, speaking from an evangelical perspective, the current administration, I believe, has delayed the second coming of Jesus. Since the Iraq war, missionaries have been forced out of many countries, their work unfinished. As it says in Matthew 24:14, 'the gospel will be preached in the whole world.' The Bush administration’s Iraq war policy has been in direct contradiction to Matthew."
Uhh... yes, we hate the Iraq War for the very same reason. Missionaries. Not enough... missionaries. We're fine with the ethnic cleansing of hundreds of thousands of innocent people -- who cares right? -- but when the MISSIONARIES had to flee Iraq, well, we can only tolerate so much.
And if George Bush thinks that the gospel Matthew will just let this slide, then boy howdy, he REALLY doesn't know Matthew very well.