Well, that didn't go over well.

It seems like within about six seconds of President Crymouth getting on Twitter and begging to have his failure of a presidency extended — because he knows that if people are allowed to vote safely and securely in November, he's going down in flames — people were lining up to tell him to piss off. Even Republican elected officials, nationally and on the state level, where they actually run the elections, were saying hey dude, why don't you go fuck some worms.

Or something like that.


Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.) [said] in a Fox News interview Thursday morning: "We will not delay the election."

Well then.

Senator Lindsey Graham, who lives allllllllll the way up inside Trump's butt, like so far up he's in a cul-de-sac, said he doesn't "think that's a particularly good idea." Senator John Thune was more wordy about it:

"I think that's probably a statement that gets some press attention, but I doubt it gets any serious traction," Thune said. "I think we've had elections every November since about 1788, and I expect that will be the case again this year," he said.

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Thom Tillis, Chuck Grassley ... they all say we're having the election on Election Day. Here's Rubio:

"He can suggest whatever he wants. The law is what it is. We're going to have an election that's legitimate, it's going to be credible, it's going to be the same as we've always done it," Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), the chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, told reporters.

Shitbrick Texas GOP Senator John Cornyn said the tweet was just a "joke." Ha ha! However, he did also say, "Obviously he doesn't have the power to do that."

Mitch McConnell, the Senate majority leader, wasn't answering questions this morning, but he reportedly told a local news guy that the date of the election is "set in stone." So.

Will Trump get any help from his bootlickers in the House? Here's House Minority Leader Kevin "I think Putin pays Trump" McCarthy:

"Never in the history of federal elections have we ever not held an election and we should go forward with our election," McCarthy said, "No way should we ever not hold our election on the day that we have it."

Even Texas GOP Rep. Dan Crenshaw, who is expected to mount a fierce challenge for the title of "Most Dumbfuck Dimwit House Republican" if Louie Gohmert dies of coronavirus, said nope, no delays, even as he spread baseless dumbfuck dimwit conspiracy theories about mail-in ballot fraud.

Crenshaw tweet: "No, it's not even a question. No delays. We should demand safe and secure elections. If you requested an absentee ballot, you should use it. And states should not use universal mail-in, which is indeed vulnerable to mistakes and abuse."

But what about the states? Republican secretaries of state could do some fuckery for Trump, yeah? Talking Points Memo collected some reactions from state officials, including Republicans. Here's Republican Ohio Secretary of State Frank LaRose:

LaRose tweet: "The United States must hold its election on Tuesday, November 3rd. Ohio will have four weeks of absentee voting, early in-person voting and election day voting as we always have. And we will be ready. Ohio will have a safe, secure and accurate Election Day."

Here's New Hampshire GOP Governor Chris Sununu:

Sununu tweet: "Make no mistake: the election will happen in New Hampshire on November 3rd. End of story. Our voting system in NH is secure, safe, and reliable. We have done it right 100% of the time for 100 years -- this year will be no different."

Texas GOP Governor Greg Abbott said through a spokesperson that "Texas has adopted procedures and guidelines to ensure safe and fair elections, including extending the early in-person voting period, and the elections in Texas will occur on November 3rd."

So that's another no, at least on this particular form of election fuckery.

Surely SOMEBODY Wants To Do Fascism With Trump?

Of course somebody does! There are a few absolute losers who totally want to help Trump pull a fascist rabbit out of his ass and extend his authoritarian hell-reign.

Trump's beefy Roy Cohn at Justice, Bill Barr, told Congress the other day that he "hasn't studied" whether presidents can change the dates of elections, because he's stupid, a liar, or both. To be clear, once again, Trump cannot do this. The Constitution says who sets the date of elections, and it is Congress. The states run the elections. Trump isn't even part of the conversation.

Meanwhile, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, whose heat-seeking missile for Trump's ass always messes up Lindsey Graham's peonies in the Trump ass cul-de-sac where he lives when it flies by, told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee something even more egregiously bullshit this morning, saying "the Department of Justice and others will make that legal determination." And America responded, "Hey Mike Pompeo, why don't you go back to Kansas and shut the fuck up for a long time?" America is very rude.

Of course, those two guys are probably prime targets for President Biden's truth commission, so that's not all that surprising.

You won't be shocked to learn that Fox News is out there thinking maaaaaaaaybe Donald Trump is right, even though they were like OH PSHAW! when Joe Biden earlier said Trump would totally try this. Idiot Stuart Varney argued this morning that if they don't have all the mail-in ballots counted on election night, that will cause chaos and mayhem and dirty dishes in the sink and all other manners of terriblenesses! Shouldn't we wait for Donald Trump to kill the entire American population with coronavirus and then maybe have an election in 20 years or something, once Trump and Putin are done being president-for-life? And then whatever cockroaches are left can vote for Donald Trump one more time for old time's sake?

Varney's argument wasn't quite that explicit, but it wasn't that far off.

Kick His Ass, Kamala Harris And Nancy Pelosi!

Kamala Harris, who is probably the future vice president of all of America, pinned this to the top of her Twitter:

Harris tweet: "Donald Trump is terrified. He knows he's going to lose to @JoeBiden. It will require every single one of us to make that happen. We will see you at the ballot box on November 3rd, @realDonaldTrump."

The speaker of the House of Representatives, third in line to the presidency, weighed in, but she didn't need to say anything besides the Constitution, because fuck off, Donald.

Pelosi tweet: "Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution states: 'The Congress may determine the Time of choosing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.'"

She would have said she was praying for him, probably, but she was on her way to John Lewis's funeral, where Donald Trump wasn't welcome.

The end.

[Washington Post / CNN / The Dallas Morning News / Politico]

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