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A long time ago, when amoral sperm whale Newt Gingrich was simultaneously banging another extramarital bimboand prosecuting Bill Clinton for an extramarital sexytime, Newt was also deeply in love with Palestinian heartthrob Yasser Arafat.


In this newly rediscovered Facebook iPhone photo from the 1990s, Newt is seen tenderly holding Arafat's hands and (we're pretty sure) trying in vain to slip a Tiffany silver whore ring on Arafat's pinky-- Gingrich never goes anywhere without a pocket full of layaway Tiffany silver whore rings, in case he meets anybody he wants to suck him off while he's married to someone else.

But Arafat, being a man of some convictions and standards, said no to the pear-shaped American hair bear. And ever since, Gingrich has been tearfully insisting that the entire Palestinian nation doesn't exist, because it is dead to him now. (Also, Newt Gingrich is a wingnut shit-for-brains who would literally level the United States with nuclear bombs if Israel and/or Iowa told him to.) [The Economist]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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