j/k he's a loser

Hoo boy, there is a new FAKE NEWS! LOSER! poll out from Public Policy Polling, and it shows what anybody who doesn't live inside an uneducated rural white bubble can tell you -- everybody hates Donald Trump, yoogely bigly wow. We'll get to approval ratings in a second, but we'd like to point out first that only 48% of voters DEFINITELY DON'T want Trump impeached, whereas a full 40% are definitely pretty sure that yeah, fuck that insane guy, we love America and would like it to still be a country, so kick his ass out of the White House. (And yes, there are 12% in the middle who are like, "oh I dunno maybe, did you hear there is a sale at the Big Lots and also Beyoncé is Double-Pragnet?)

He hasn't even been president two weeks!

Now, Trump's approval rating is 47 whole percent, which is more tremendous than the 37% he had a week before he was inaugurated. Awwww, isn't it nice of a few people, that they are Giving Him A Chance? (Nope, those people are dumb.)

All this means is that Trump's approval ratings are still historically weak and sad, compared to every other new president who ever lived. It usually takes presidents like 270 days to get upside down in their polling. Somebody with aptitude and conviction should buy the FAKE and failing Donald Trump and either control him correctly, or let his presidency fold with dignity!

As PPP explains, the reason everybody hates Trump is that everybody thinks he's bad at everything he's doing, with a full 65% opposing banning Muslims from the U.S. Wow, we should pray for Donald Trump, because back when that Barack Obama guy was in office, the ratings for that reality show called "The President of America" were WAY more impressive!

Some other fun findings:

• 25% believe George Soros personally drove everybody to the airport and gave them a check for protesting, whereas 60% of Americans are not mouthbreathing stupids.
• The great majority of Americans (62%) want to keep and fix Obamacare, whereas only 33% think it would be better to just repeal it and let everybody die.
• Majorities of Americans trust John McCain (got captured!), CNN (fake news!), the New York Times (eats boogers!) and the Washington Post (very unfair!) more than they trust Trump. Probably because he lies a lot.
• 52% of Americans want Obama to PLEASE COME BACK AND BE PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW, BARRY.
• Americans continue to agree, as one nation, under God, indivisible, that Congress, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan suck a big D, and not in a good way.

Can't wait to see Trump's updated numbers, once they've polled people on whether they think it's a GOOD idea or a BAD idea for Trump to make an enemy out of Australia.

Then again, Trump did raise Frederick Douglass, who's doing a really good job more and more, from the dead, so that should give him a bounce, just kidding, Trump is a loser and so is the real president, Steve Bannon.

[Public Policy Polling]